The Doctor's Hysteria
by ClockworkScales
Summary: The Doctor seems to have the old age "female hysteria". His sudden outburst and sex-starved behavior confuses Rose and she begins to suspect he might be possessed as things start to get stranger and stranger. Ten/Rose. Warning: Please note that this story contains adult and unpleasant subject matter. Reader discretion is advised.
1. A Warning Chapter 1: Outburst

**A WARNING ABOUT SENSITIVE CONTENT**

Hi all.

There have been some distressed reviews and comments about my story, particularly about one scene in chapter 2. I just wanted to warn everybody about it so you can make an informed decision about whether or not you want to read this story.

**Chapter 2 has a rape scene.** But please, don't let that deter you if you're genuinely interested in reading the story. The rape-scene has greater meaning than would otherwise seem apparent. Indeed, it is very important for the rest of the story which you will understand if you read it to the end.

**If you feel that this type of content may be disturbing to you, please do not read further.**

Please consider counseling if you find you're unable to cope with what you have read.

Rape is a sensitive issue and I would never introduce it into a story unless it served some other purpose. That said, this story is genuinely strange and possibly something you have not encountered before.

**This story has an M rating. Please review the website's rating guidelines before continuing. (Warning added 9/11/12. First chapter originally posted 9/21/10.) **

**Sorry for the delay in getting this warning up, I genuinely thought having an M rating and writing "warning: ideologically sensitive" would be enough. **

* * *

**Chapter 1: Outburst**

Rose jumped into the Tardis, a spring in her step, while the Doctor strode in with his usual parol, and cup of coffee.

'I still can't believe you didn't know female hysteria used to be treated with a type of water massaging device that continued until-'

'Climax,' Rose finished his sentence for him, twirling back to look at the Doctor for a moment, 'well, no, I didn't. But I don't actively research the 18th century or the Victorians. I had heard of female hysteria before but I didn't realize how it was treated... And it worked for the most part, didn't it?'

'Yes, well, it did for the _most_ part. The other part died of cancer or other horrendous disease because the symptoms were mislabelled _as_ hysteria,' the Doctor continued, flicking a few levers and pressing a few buttons on the Tardis's control panel. 'And did you know vibrators were created as a home-type remedy for female hysteria?'

'Well, I do now,' Rose said, leaning against the Tardis wall and smiling cheekily. The Tardis whirred, hummed, and chugged into motion. The Doctor looked up and peered at the girl.

'What's that look for?' he asked, very still. Rose's grin grew wider.

'I was just wondering how often you did this sort of thing,' she started, walking a few feet toward him. 'I mean, it doesn't strike me as a very Time Lord-y thing to do – researching about female climax habits.'

'Well,' the Doctor began reasonably, sniffing a little and looking back at the Tardis dashboard, 'as a Time Lord you have to know these things. Good for the brain, you know?'

He tapped his temple.

'Good for masturbating, more like,' Rose countered - just as the Doctor took a sip of his coffee.

Rose burst out laughing as he choked and spluttered.

'Rose Tyler!' the Doctor exclaimed, gasping for breath, 'Rose Tyler! Well, I never!'

'Well, you must spend many hours by yourself on this thing. What else has a man gotta do but toss off a few?'

The Doctor was stunned, a bedazzled expression splayed across his face. Rose laughed a little more and the Doctor took a few steps toward her. The Tardis gave a little shudder.

'Who do you think I am, Rose Tyler?' he asked her cautiously, his eyes suddenly piercing her like daggers. 'Am I human to you?'

Rose was silent. As he continued to approach her, Rose realized he wasn't going to stop so she started to step back. She held up her hands and smiled apologetically.

'It's just a joke, Doctor. I didn't mean any harm by it,' Rose began, and continued, until she was cornered against the Tardis wall. 'I mean, maybe you had a strange experience as a child or something, but masturbation is a totally normal part of the sex drive. Since Gallifreyans are able to reproduce, I assume they do it too.'

Rose's smile faded. The Doctor's brown eyes were studying her face – not curiously, but as if he saw something underneath that she didn't – and hated it. When she finally caught his eye, she realized that he… he was _angry_… his eyes glared… he looked stern. He was a cold, empty void.

'Doctor?' Rose asked, her voice soft. 'Doctor, are you all right?'

She was about to speak again, when the Doctor suddenly spoke, rather loudly, too.

'That's what it's all about with you, isn't it, Rose? Sex,' the Doctor's eyes narrowed as he revved himself up for a tumultuous speech. 'Sex, sex, sex... It's so typical of you humans, isn't it? But what you don't realize is that it's destroying you from the inside out. Why care for things like knowledge and self-advancement when you can have mindless pleasure and pointless gratification?' the Doctor reeled, a discourse powered by spite and distaste. 'That's another great thing about you humans… it really is.' The Doctor was pent with rage and Rose was completely lost for words. He moved over toward the Tardis control panel, forcefully pulling mechanics, 'You're all so,' he reached up to grab a lever near the Tardis's light-filled pump, 'fucking,' he pulled it down, '_mindless!_' He strodetoward Rose and pointed in her face, his eyebrows furrowed, 'Well, I won't have it here.' But what he said next made Rose flinch. 'I thought you were different, Rose. I thought you _cared_– but really you just want what everybody else does… ' he raised his eyebrows slightly, as if daring her to fight back. 'You want to 'get laid'. To 'toss off a few', to 'meet a few boys or girls one night and take them home'.' The Doctor took a deep breath and continued, ignoring the tears welling in Rose's eyes. 'To be mindless and foolish. To lose all sense of reality – to lose all sense of_morality_, to lose all sense of self. Because it's all about the gratification and desperate moans, the silly, pathetic games in corners, pretending not to get caught. It's about sneaking kisses in the dark and fumbling under sheets as you try to find where your last pair of pants went… it's about… something that is not me. Something that is not a part of who I am, Rose!'

On this note, the Doctor stormed upstairs and out of sight. Rose sniffed and gasped for a few moments before a few tears escaped onto the Tardis's metallic floor. Underneath the shock from the Doctor's outburst… was _confusion_.

That wasn't like the Doctor at all…

Or was it? Did she really know who the Doctor was?

A lot of his life was a mystery to her…

What was really going on?

Rose decided to give him some space for a while before she'd go upstairs to talk to him about it.

'Well, Tardis,' she said, looking up at the whirring pump. 'I guess it's just you and me for awhile.'

The Doctor stormed back and forth in his walk-in-wardrobe, pushing clothes apart and staring at outfits before storming off again. He was absolutely fuming, pumped with a strange force he did not understand. What part of him found it reasonable to burst out at Rose like that? How could he say something so cruel? But then another part of him, a knowing voice, said it was because she was human – she was different - and she didn't seem to realize it, either.

'It's all about _sex_,' the Doctor repeated, distain filling every inch of the word. He caught himself in his reflection. 'Why so hateful?' He stared at himself up and down, his eye twitching. 'Because you're not like the others, that's what!'

The Doctor made a wild motion in the air with his arm before huffing. He stood for a few moments in silence before he sighed and slumped down against the mirror, a hand sneaking through his hair, making it stick out at odd angles. He growled and messed his hair up some more, his eyes staring about the closet, looking for some form of inspiration – some sort of sign, direction.

What was wrong with him? What set him off?

The Doctor paused, his tongue touching the roof of his mouth, his mind stepping back for a moment.

'Well, as a Time Lord you have to know these things. Good for the brain, you know?' He had said.

'Good for masturbating, more like,' Rose had said.

That is what it was. It was the masturbation comment – maybe not the comment, but the _implication_. The implication that the Doctor got off from researching the sort of thing he showed Rose that day; female hysteria – and the line of thinking that lead to further discovery and understanding of the female sex drive and psyche.

Why was he so fascinated by it? What drew him toward it?

The Doctor thought for a moment - _really_ thought about it - and as he did, a heat crept up his neck like a burning flame... just as the same heat flowed downward.

'Ohh no,' the Doctor said. 'No. No, no. No!'

He stood up and slapped himself in the face. It was still there. He shook his head viciously. Still there.

He grabbed his head in his hands, attempting to concentrate on something else, straining. When this failed, the horrible realization sunk into the Doctor's mind – and suddenly, his actions toward Rose made some sort of sense. His body relaxed, and his eyes unfocused in awe.

At this moment of clarity he felt himself further exploring what he had previously neglected – and what at first was an objective viewpoint soon became incredibly subjective. He felt himself sinking into a mental and emotional haze. A physiological drive shuddered through his body - one he hadn't felt in a very long time - and he thought about Rose… as something he hadn't thought about before. Something he had denied all along. Something that was so wrong… so disgusting and… yet… beautiful. So, so, beautiful. He owed it to Rose, he really did. He breathed and laughed a little before he shut his eyes, letting the thoughts fill his mind and contaminate his entire body with a burning, fever-like heat. He breathed deeply and soaked in the roaring flame, despite the voice telling him "Don't." But the voice was soon smothered.

After a few minutes his breathing became ragged and he let out a piteous moan. Slowly, he struggled to his feet and stumbled over to the bathroom, proceeding to lock the door behind him.

* * *

_A/N: This story was based off a dream I had, believe it or not. And just a random note... Female hysteria tended to be called "the vapors" by the Victorians. Imagine a woman holding a hand to her head and collapsing on the couch out of shock - they'd say she had "the vapors". This story will have multiple chapters, this being the first. I hope you follow it until the end. I will try to finish it as quickly as possible._


	2. Silence

'Doctor?'

Rose slowly climbed the stairs and peered back down into the main control area, her eyebrows creasing her forehead. She pushed her blonde hair back behind an ear and licked her lips - they were quite chapped. They must have gotten that way from the wind back in the 18th Century.

Clunk, clunk, clunk. Her shoes made dull noises against the steps. For a small moment she wondered who designed the Tardis but then she reached the landing. She went to look in his bedroom, but there was nobody there. Everything was as neat and tidy as it always was - like nobody ever slept there. Then she looked in the walk-in wardrobe, and there was nobody there either, but the presence of the Doctor lingered. He had been here recently.

Where was he? Rose wondered. Maybe he went to the loo, she figured. She reached the door near the wardrobe and tapped on it.

'Doctor? Are you in there?'

There was a pause.

'Hello?'

She pulled at the handle, but it was locked.

'Doctor, are you in there?'

The Doctor had the place soundproofed in a way that sound couldn't be heard from the outside, but could be heard from the inside – one-way soundproofing. It was devised to keep the Tardis safe from outsiders - after all, wouldn't it be strange to hear all that noise inside a tiny telephone box?

'Doctor, I want to talk to you. Are you-'

The door clicked opened and Rose saw the Doctor's face in the crack. He smiled a little, looked at her lips, back to her face. He opened his mouth as if to say something - but shut it, as an afterthought. Rose looked down at him. He was dressed in his classic brown suit, but looked kind of sweaty. A fresh sheen of perspiration covered his forehead and neck.

'Are you all right?' Rose asked softly. 'I wanted to talk about some of the things you said.'

'Yes,' the Doctor agreed, nodding seriously. 'Yes, so do I.'

His voice had that defiant kind of confidence that told Rose that he had made his mind up about something. She wasn't sure what it was though. She laughed out of nerves.

'Yes, well… Some of the things you said –'

'Come in,' the Doctor said, opening the door wider and motioning inside with an arm. 'I've had the heater on so it's warmer in here than out there.'

Rose just looked at him in disbelief, unsure whether to laugh or not.

'It's the bathroom.'

'Your lips are chapped. I notice you keep licking them,' the Doctor noted. 'It's really a lot warmer in here. You'll feel more comfortable.'

She didn't know why the Doctor would be so observant about a thing like that, but shrugged. He was the Doctor, after all; he was observant about a lot of things. Things she didn't always realize.

When Rose and the Doctor were safe inside, with the door shut tight, the Doctor sat on the lid of the toilet while Rose leant against the shower. The floor and wall tiles were a brilliant white colour - a sharp contrast to the Tardis's metallic interior. The ceiling was tiled too, for some reason.

It was a queer place to talk, but it _was_ warmer. Rose felt herself becoming a bit more comfortable and she looked at the Doctor expectantly.

'I'm sorry about what I said, Rose,' the Doctor said sincerely. 'Really, I didn't mean it.'

She was expecting some kind of explanation, so nodded in an attempt to get him to continue. 'That's good to hear, but what -'

'Really, I am sorry. I said some nasty things to you before, but I want you to know…' he looked to the tiled floor and then to Rose. '...that I really do care about you, and you really are one of the most thoughtful people I've met. Of course you care about more than just sex, you're Rose Tyler after all. There's more to life than that - we both know that.'

Rose was surprised. 'Well, I'm glad you're feeling better. But...' she decided to be blunt, 'I just want to know what the heck all that was about? I mean, you blew your top off back there, you really seemed to lose it for a moment there – you really went crazy. Don't you think your behaviour was a little ... Odd?'

'Yes. I know it was,' the Doctor said plainly. 'I'm sorry, Rose.'

'Yeah…' Rose muttered, and she peered at him, curiously. Something still wasn't right. 'I still don't understand, though. Why would you say something like that? It's not like you… but then again, sometimes I feel like I know nothing about you at all… so I could easily be wrong. You always talk so kindly about human beings, so it was a little strange to hear you say something like that.'

'No. No, you're right,' the Doctor said. And he stood suddenly. Rose was looking at him with wide eyes. 'I understand,' he continued, and he took a few steps nearer. Again, she was cornered, but this time, she stared at him. 'Rose…' the Doctor murmured. 'Rose, you really are beautiful.'

Rose didn't know what to think - but she didn't have to. It all happened quickly. He was so fast. In a matter of seconds he was pressing Rose against the shower's exterior and kissing her fiercely. His mouth was hot and so was his breath. He was touching her everywhere, and Rose suddenly lost her voice in her throat as he touched her thighs, her stomach, her neck... Everything about this act just screamed fire. But _fire_? The Doctor always seemed so cool and…

Suddenly the Doctor's hands snaked their way to her breasts and he cupped them forcefully, squeezing them hard.

'Doctor-' Rose gasped, pushing him off. The Doctor's hands fell to his sides and he looked at the girl. Rose's face was flushed. Her lips were red. She caught her breath and then her head, one by one. 'Doctor, you've never acted like this before... I can't say I'm not pleased - but it's so sudden... and you're so...' She stopped. She wanted to say 'rough' but couldn't bring herself to do so - the Doctor always seemed so gentle. He looked so intense but she wasn't sure she wanted to burst his bubble. She changed tact, abruptly. 'Are you sure you're okay?'

'Yes,' the Doctor said, staring at her lips and the curves her breasts and hips made. She was so curvy. 'Yes, I'm fine.' He took her in his arms once more, running her hands over her back and squeezing her buttocks in his hands. Her jeans were tight and they shaped her backside beautifully. He felt a roaring flame inside of him whenever he thought about it, and he felt… vicious. He tore at Rose's clothes, her pretty blue blouse falling apart before his eyes, the measly little buttons ticking as they hit the floor. He unbuttoned her jeans rapidly and pulled his suit's jacket off. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt before pulling her close to him once more.

'Rose…' he sighed, breathing heavily. 'Oh, Rose.'

Rose wasn't sure what to think - there wasn't much she could think. Just a minute previously she was clothed. And while she loved the Doctor with all her heart, there was something disastrously wrong here. This wasn't like him... _at all_.

He pulled off the last of his clothes, but before Rose could get a good look, he unhooked her bra, and slipped off her jeans. Then the strangeness of the whole situation really started to sink in.

'Doctor,' Rose stammered, 'Stop. It's – you're going to fast – just slow down – just - _stop!_'

'Stop talking,' the Doctor replied curtly, abruptly. 'Right now.'

Rose took a breath to reply, ready to unload a torrent of abuse, but before she could even make a sound, he put his hand over her mouth. When Rose tried to tear him off, he pinned her further. He was very strong, maneuvering her like a doll. Rose was like a fly caught in a web; completely weak and helpless; her defenses zero. Her knickers were ripped from her flesh like cheap wrapping.

She tried to break free, but the Doctor held her down. Rose could feel the glass cracking behind her - it started to wail from the weight.

The reality was frightening her more and more by the second. She tried to yell, to hit him, to pry herself free, but the Doctor's eyes were filled with a quiet determination and a wired madness. The look disturbed her. Tears began to seep down her cheeks as he pushed her harder against the glass. It started to creak. Her body shuddered with sobs that couldn't properly escape. She wasn't ready for this, she didn't want to do it – but the Doctor did, and he was going to get what he wanted… even if it meant he had to go beyond the wishes of his dear travelling companion.


	3. Vapors

The faint dripping of the shower head denoted the end of Rose's shower. The shower glass and bathroom mirror were covered with condensation from steam, deep cracks imbedded in the fibre of the shower glass.

Rose could never tolerate high temperatures in showers or baths. Normally, it made her faint and dizzy. It made her skin pink. But this time the water was scalding, and her skin remained pale. The water was absolutely boiling, but it felt good - it was refreshing, cleansing. She spent most of her time in the shower crouched on the floor, letting the water tumble over her body. Her hair became drenched, and water dripped off her chin. She adjusted to the water temperature with each turn of the knob. The heat felt refreshing. There was something deeply satisfying about it. She was cold, and numb, and it helped her feel something - it reminded her she was still alive.

'Rose. Rose, open up!' a voice echoed through the door. 'Let me in!'

It was the Doctor. Rose had made sure she locked the door tight. There was a barrier separating the two - a wall.

'Fuck off!' Rose yelled back at him, even though she knew he couldn't hear. One-way sound proofing.

She was now sitting on the toilet lid, a towel wrapped around her body. Her clothes lay scattered on the floor, her blouse and knickers completely ruined. She had some extra clothes in the Doctor's wardrobe, but that meant leaving and facing him.

The key to the Tardis was sitting on the sink, the sonic screwdriver resting next to it. She had fished them out of the Doctor's pocket when he was getting dressed, feigning niceness by handing him his clothes when she was actually sneaking through each of the pockets. She told him she needed a shower and needed some time alone, locking him out of the bathroom before he realized the key was missing. There had been a hungry look in his eye every time he looked at her, it wasn't something she had ever seen before. It was very un-Doctor-y.

'There's something wrong with you, Doctor.' Rose murmured, running her hands through her hair. 'I mean it.'

Rose exhaled and shook her head, soaking up the sadness like a sponge. Tears filled her eyes and she cried. How could the Doctor do that to her?

It was like he had become a completely different person.

'Rose!'

Bang, bang, bang!

Minutes passed, and the Doctor's demands soon disappeared. She heard him walking away. Rose wiped the tears from her cheeks.

She had the key to the door... but now what?

Suddenly, Rose remembered something else she had fished out of the Doctor's pocket. A tele-communication device. She picked it off the sink and fiddled with it, pressing its tiny buttons, trying to figure out how it worked. It had a tiny little screen attached to some kind of wrist-band. With a beep, a name appeared on the screen and a ringing sound appeared. Rose read it, relief washing over her.

Captain Jack Harkness

His voice rung out to her like a god-send.

'Captain Jack Harkness, you've reached Torchwood –'

'Jack!' Rose cried.

Jack recognized the voice speaking to him and smiled broadly in a 'long time no see' way as he saw her. But after a few moments of studying her, his face contorted with concern.

'Rose? What's wrong? Are you okay? Where's the Doctor?'

'The Doctor's outside. Look, Jack, I need you to come over here. You need to come to the Tardis and you need to test the Doctor for something – I think he's gone mad or something – he's-'

'Rose,' Jack started urgently and furrowed his eyebrows, staring into the tiny screen. 'Rose, what's going on? I'm sensing something's not right, here.'

'That would be right…' Rose admitted, letting out a deep sigh and putting a hand to her forehead. 'Uh, how do I explain?'

'Why don't you tell me why you've been crying.'

The corners of Rose's mouth twitched.

'He raped me, Jack.'

'Sorry?' Jack asked, 'Who raped you?'

'The Doctor did.'

'You're joking, right?' Jack laughed for a second. Rose just stared at him. He frowned when he saw the look on Rose's face.

'I know it's hard to believe...' Rose admitted. 'But it happened, Jack.'

Jack looked absolutely baffled. 'My god, that's certainly something.'

He paused for a moment and then said.

'Why would he rape you?'

'I don't know, Jack!' Rose said quickly, feeling her insides heating to a boil. 'If I knew I would tell you! I WAS HOPING YOU'D KNOW.'

'Too loud, darling,' Captain Jack Harkness flinched a little at the volume. Jack shook his head in amazement, his eyes wide. 'Look, Rose. I must admit I'm completely baffled to hear that happened to you. As you can see, I'm very surprised and – and - and _shocked_ - to hear that happened to you. I'm sorry to hear it, but it's obvious that it's _very_ unlike him. I can see why you're concerned.' There was a long pause before Jack adjusted his position and faced Rose directly. 'Before I even begin to think why the Doctor acted that way, I need to ask a few questions in order to get as much information as possible - so I know _exactly_ what I might be looking for - what we might be dealing with here. I'll run it through the Torchwood database and see if anything comes up. If not, I might have to conduct some research with your assistance. My first question is, did you notice anomalies in his behavior before this event occurred?'

'Yes, I did,' Rose muttered. 'Let me just think for a moment.'

'Not a problem. Take your time,' Jack said. 'When you're ready, tell me what you know. I'll do some research, and then I'll be over there before you know it - you'd just have to trigger the teleport sequence on that device you have there...'

Rose looked at the device in her hand.

'...you press buttons 3, 2, 3, and then you press 3 again to start a connection. Then I just just have to press one of my buttons and I'll be teleported there. But anyway, back to business…' Captain Jack suddenly looked at Rose with a sincere intensity. 'Are you ready for this?'

Rose nodded, readjusting her towel for a moment. 'Yeah, I'm ready.'

'Okay. Tell me about what happened.'

* * *

The Tardis stopped in England, 1875. The Doctor poked his head out out the blue door, his brown eyes alert and observing. The machine had parked itself in an alley, hidden amongst rubbish and broken furniture.

He slipped a piece of rubber into the space of the open door before moving on his way. The smell was immediately noticable; disgusting and overpowering. A strong smell of urine, semen, and feces contaminated the area. He tried to touch as little as possible, silently vowing to disinfect his clothes, and shower when he was done. He hoped the smell wouldn't waft into the Tardis, but in consideration that it probably would, he decided he would clean the Tardis as well.

Suddenly, he heard a woman screaming. When he peered through the rubble and mist toward the end of the alley he noticed a man wrestling with her. He watched for a few seconds before walking in the opposite direction, manovering his way through broken desks and wheel-burrows. He made his way onto the street, the air a lot cleaner - though smokey. It was mostly deserted, but a building on the opposite side of the road told him he was in the right place.

It was a brothel, but not just any brothel. This brothel was owned by Mary Jeffries, a lady who kidnapped children by offering to watch them while their parents went to gather luggage or buy tickets. Her chief assistant at the brothel was a Mrs. Travers. Children and women were prostituted here, and he knew some of the houses even had torture chambers where they were flogged and could be held by rings in the ceiling. He would never had considered coming here before, but there was something that he wanted... and something they could give him...

He strode toward the building and entered, the shrill screams of women reaching his ears. This brothel had a thing for pain and women screaming - especially young women. The Doctor almost wished he had taken his hand off Rose's mouth so he could hear _her_ scream - but something inside of him made him silence her instead. He didn't stop to think about what, but walked up to the front desk and asked for a room with a lady.

'Any preferences, sir? We can line a few up for you if you'd like to choose.'

But the Doctor shook his head, knowing exactly what he wanted. 'Are any of your women lactating? Are any of them pregnant?'

'Pregnant, huh?' the lady at the front desk asked, looking the man up and down. 'You do kinda look like a mamma's boy.'

'No, it's nothing like that,' the Doctor admitted, biting his lip. 'The thing is, that...' the Time Lord sighed, deciding to be frank. 'I'm infertile.'

The lady looked at the Doctor sympathetically, but he continued, looking at the floor sadly.

'If you have a woman like that with blonde hair, I'd like to spend some time with her.'

'You bet we do. She has big breasts and a nice ass, also,' the lady quipped, jotting something down in a paper-bound book. 'Does that interest you?'

The Doctor smiled faintly, then nodded.

'Yes. Yes, it does.'

* * *

_A/N: This brothel really existed._


	4. Fluorescent

'Is he out there?' Rose asked.

Jack had returned to the bathroom, apparently unscathed.

'Not in the slightest,' Jack said, scratching the back of his neck. 'The Tardis door was partly open, though. It was jammed shut onto a piece of rubber. Part of a tire by the looks of it. And it smells gross out there, let me tell you.' He checked the tele-communication device strapped to his wrist like a watch. 'It doesn't look like Gwen's finished searching yet. Hopefully we'll hear back from her soon.'

Rose nodded absentmindedly, her thoughts focused on the Doctor.

'He's outside?'

'Must be,' Jack shrugged, looking at Rose with her fluffy towel still wrapped around her. 'I think it's safe for you to go get changed now. I kicked the rubber out and shut the door, so the Doctor can't get in without us knowing.'

'Good,' Rose sighed, and she picked up her lump of clothes and exited. 'I'll be back.'

'You better be,' Captain Harkness said in mock-seriousness. 'Or I'll never forgive you.'

Rose grinned at him and shut the door behind her. Jack was suddenly alone in the bathroom, white tiles glinting at him. He looked about it and approached the shower glass. A large fissure split the middle.

'Well, now, you look like you're going to break, don't you?' he murmured, frowning and tapping it lightly. As he tapped it, a small crack appeared where his finger had hit it. Then Jack had an idea.

He picked up the sonic screwdriver and pointed it at the glass, flicking the tiny machine's switch.

With a whirring noise and bright blue light, the cracks in the glass filled with light. The glass started to creak as the gaps were filled, the fibre repairing itself. But it would not fully fix. A single large crack stayed in the middle.

'C'mon screwdriver, work your magic,' Jack said, giving the screwdriver a little bang and flicking the switch again, pressing the button down hard. Suddenly, the sound emitted by the screwdriver reached a very high pitch and Jack dropped the device as the sound pulses spread through his arm and made the muscles spasm painfully, uncontrollably. He gasped and held his arm, but that wasn't the worst that happened.

The glass started to crack again. The fixed material started to unwind its process, working in reverse. Fissures zig-zagged across the surface, increasing in length and depth.

The cracks reached the edges of the shower glass and spread to the next glass wall like spiders. With a tinkling noise, parts of the glass started to fall to the floor, smashing into even tinier pieces as they hit. Jack could hardly believe his eyes and he took a few steps back. The metal framing holding the shower together ceased to hold the glass in tact, and they bent unnaturally - spines snapping out of shape. The lights in the ceiling flickered. The cracks in the glass spread to the wall tiles and snapped the mirror.

Jack's arm stopped cramping and he picked the sonic screwdriver up. He also pulled the Tardis key and tele-communication device off the now-disintegrating sink and shoved them into his coat's pocket, stepping back toward the door. The entire room was wailing and creaking. The fissures spread to the ceiling and floor, creating large jagged lines. A bright light suddenly emanated from each crack in the room before fading.

When the noise died down, a fluorescent liquid started to ooze out of each crack. The liquid dripped from the ceiling and hit the floor, steam particles emanating from it. The light in the ceiling faded and flickered dully.

Now standing in the doorway, Jack was completely baffled. A few cracks had even made their way to the walls outside the room. A few footsteps at his right told him Rose had returned. He waited for her but didn't take his eyes off the room, in case it started cracking again.

'What are you doing out here? What's wrong?' Rose asked, no idea what was to behold her.

'_That's_ what's wrong,' Jack said, pointing inside the bathroom. Rose's eyes followed his finger.

'Oh my god... _What_ is that?'

Jack glanced at Rose for a moment and stared at the oozing cracks, daring not to touch it.

'I never thought I would ever see this happen,' Jack said, 'but if the Doctor's being possessed by something, I wonder if whatever it is is here right now.'

'Why do you say that? Do you think it could have done this?'

'I'm not sure. But I know this is definitely not normal,' Jack said, pointing at the liquid dripping out of the cracks. 'And Rose… I don't think these are just cracks…' He looked fearful. 'I think they're wounds.'

'Huh? What do you mean?' Rose asked. 'Are you saying what I think you're saying?'

'You'd have to tell me what you're thinking for me to answer that,' Jack muttered, massaging his injured arm. 'Thing is… I think they're wounds, Rose. And I think _this_,' he nodded at the glowing liquid, 'is blood.'

Rose looked horrified. Her eyes scanned the bathroom and her mouth gaped. 'But - but _how_? Why?' She looked at Jack sternly, 'what were you doing in there before?'

'I was trying to fix it,' Jack admitted sheepishly, 'I was trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver – the shower glass, that is. It seemed to work at first, but then _this_ happened,' he motioned to the room and furrowed his brows, his forehead creasing with worry. 'Rose… I'm not sure what's going on. I've heard of this before… but… but I never thought I would see it happen.'

'Heard of what? See what? What are you talking about, Jack? Why don't you just spit it out, already?'

There was a long pause before Jack spoke.

'I think the Tardis is in pain, Rose. I think it's dying.'

* * *

Outside the Tardis in a Victorian brothel, was the Doctor. The floral wallpaper inside would have made the place homey if it weren't for the blood curdling screams scattering the background.

Sweat dripped off the Doctor's forehead and onto the blonde woman's bulging tummy where she lay on the bed. He kissed and stroked her belly as she ran her fingers through his hair.

There was a faint smile on her face and the Doctor grinned at her, wrapping a hand underneath her back and running it down her right buttock, thigh, and planting kisses along the interior of her leg.

Suddenly, a knock on the door reached his ears.

'Hour's up!' a voice shouted through the door.

The Doctor's blood pressure surged as he felt himself being filled with an indescribable contempt. He ignored the voice out of irritation and tried to continue but the pregnant woman pushed his face away from her.

'You heard the lady,' she griped. 'An hour's up!'

'Like hell it is. I'm not done with you,' he growled, pinning her arms to her sides. 'You'll do as I say. I'm paying for you.'

Suddenly, the door swung open and the lady from the front desk approached him, accompanied by a large burly man – the man the Doctor had seen in the alley not an hour before.

'One hour only,' the lady repeated. 'That's what you asked for.'

'I have more money,' the Doctor said, pulling his coat off the floor to his waist and rummaging through the pockets. He tossed the coins to the ground where they chinked merrily. 'There. You've been paid. I want another few hours.'

But the lady shook her head regretfully. 'With all due respect, sir, you'll have to come back in an hour or two. Since this gal is carrying a child, she needs more rest than the others or she'll get quite sick.'

'What? Are you telling me this woman doesn't eat well? Is she hypoglycaemic or something?'

'No, sir, but it's a request on the lady's part that she gets some rest. Her husband has also requested she have more breaks in order to put less strain on her body, and therefore, the baby's.'

'But this isn't about _you_! It's about _me_! I'm your goddamn customer, I've given you money! A few extra hours isn't going to kill her!'

'Actually, _sir_, I am already _very_ tired,' the pregnant woman argued plainly, getting off the bed and stretching her back. 'I suggest you let me get some rest and _then_ you can have as much time as you like _afterwards_. Does that sound fair?'

'_No!_' The Doctor yelled. 'No, it doesn't!'

His hearts raced. He started to feel dizzy. Spots started to appear before his eyes. The lady and the man beside her started to approach him.

'It's not _fair_! I'm supposed to be your _customer_ - don't you have _any_ respect for what _I_ want?'

'Just calm down, sir,' the lady said slowly. 'Just calm down, and we can get another lady for you if you wish.'

'Yeah, get Marietta or someone to do it,' the pregnant woman drawled, flicking her hair behind her. 'I'm tired.'

She started to leave but the Doctor's possessiveness took a new turn. 'No. You're coming with me!'

Suddenly, he picked up his clothes and bounded forward, scooping the woman up in his arms and rushing out the door with astounding speed.

A voice shrieked from the room. 'Stop him!'

He ran down the corridor and took a sharp turn, his mind focused on the appearing exit. The woman in his arms struggled and yelled, but she was already so worn out that she could hardly move. The exit… it was right there… it was so close…

He knew he was winning, he could feel it.

'_Let me go, you sicko!_'

'Shut up. I just gave you the best sex in your life – you should be grateful.'

'I'd be grateful if you were my husband, but you're _not_. Let me go!'

'I have lots of money,' the Doctor said hurriedly, 'I have a great place - you can be happy there. You can have whatever you want – you and the baby. You can have the best time of your life - you wouldn't even have to work.'

'Stop it…' the woman moaned. 'Stop it…'

'Stop what? You want it, don't you? You want me, you want my life. Be honest with yourself, you hate this job, you just want to raise a family. Well, raise it. Raise it with _me_.'

'YOU HAVE SOME REAL ISSUES, MISTER.'

The woman wriggled and squirmed and the Doctor finally dropped her. She landed on her back and groaned, rolling onto her side.

'Ow…'

The sounds of hurried footsteps could be heard behind them. The Doctor bent down and held his arms out.

'Quick, into my arms!' he said desperately. 'Come with me and you can have the life you've always dreamed of!'

The girl looked at him in disgust, screwing her nose up at him.

'Are you insane?'

'_Yes_,' the Doctor admitted, his voice etched with excitement. '_Very._ About _you_. I want to have a future together. _Our_ future. It'll be everything we've always dreamed of - don't you think so?' His breathing was very rapid and he stared at the girl expectantly. 'What's wrong? Why won't you answer me? Don't you want it?'

His face was very close to the woman's and she got to her feet with difficulty, her boss reaching her side and wrapping a blanket around her shoulders.

'You shouldn't be here,' her boss said deliberately. 'Don't you dare disturb us like this again. Don't come back.'

The burly man picked the Doctor up from his armpits and dragged him backwards. The Doctor tried to struggle free, but he couldn't rip himself from the grip of the man carrying him away.

'No! _Wait!_'

His insides squirmed as the girl of his dreams started to turn away from him – turn out of his life forever.

'_ROSE!_' he screamed at the woman. '_Rose!_ Rose, look at me! Look at what you're leaving behind! _Don't you love me anymore?_ Don't you want a future together?'

'Rose?' the pregnant woman repeated in confusion, turning back to look at the man being dragged away, his eyes so filled with despair. 'Who the hell is Rose?'

The Doctor's limbs suddenly went limp and he stopped moving completely.

The torrid mania shattered abruptly before his eyes. The hallucination disappeared. Realization and horror shuddered through every bone and muscle in his body, and he was suddenly still… very still… and silent.

The doors were wrenched open and the Doctor was pushed onto the pavement, his clothes covering his privates just barely.

The man in the doorway spat in his face and slammed the door behind him with a hefty slam.

The Time Lord was left alone and naked in the middle of the street.


	5. Fever

As Jack and Rose clunked down the steps to the Tardis control room, Rose remembered something that had occurred to her earlier.

'Hey, you wouldn't know who designed the Tardis, would you?'

The Captain adjusted his earpiece and shook his head.

'No, I wouldn't,' he laughed. 'The Doctor can be pretty secretive sometimes, you know that.'

'Yeah…' Rose mumbled, hitching her white sleeve back over her shoulder.

'I miss him, Jack… I really miss him.'

Rose stopped and sat down on the steps, watching the Tardis's light pump.

'I'm really worried about him. I hope he's okay,' she muttered.

Jack sat next to her and rubbed her back a little.

'Hey, Rose... Try to cheer up… It could be worse.'

Rose looked at him. 'How could it be worse?'

Jack's mouth twitched into a crooked grin.

'It could be raining.'

Rose groaned while Jack laughed.

Minutes passed, and Rose looked down at the light pump in the control room. It looked a little off-colour somehow, but she might just be imagining it. Suddenly, a beeping noise dissipated from Jack's tele-communication device. He pressed a few buttons on it and watched the tiny screen as an image flickered into view. Rose peeked in over his shoulder.

'Gwen? Talk to me.'

Rose watched the dark-haired girl looking at them from the tiny screen. Maybe now they would understand what had been going on.

'This is going to sound strange,' the voice crackled, 'but I haven't found anything that could have possessed him in that way at all. It might be a psychological problem.'

Captain Jack moaned.

'Fucking Jesus, that's even worse.'

Rose raised her eyebrows at him, then butted into the conversation.

'Psychological? But he's been acting _completely_ out of character. I've never seen him act this way in all my life - it can't possibly be _normal_, can it?'

'That depends what you define as normal,' Gwen countered, her face tensing. 'Torchwood specializes in the abnormal, so if we had heard of it we'd have told you about it already.'

'But psychological problems don't happen just like that!' Rose said loudly into the little machine. 'The Doctor wouldn't ever act like that, ever!'

'Rose…' Jack said, pulling his arm - thus the device - away from her. 'Chill.'

'Don't tell me to _chill_!' Rose scowled, crossing her arms. 'Tell Miss Gwen for me that she's an incompetent little bitch!'

'Hey! Rose Tyler,' Gwen said loudly. 'I've never seen you act like that before – don't you think that's a bit abnormal?'

'No - it's normal because I'm angry!'

'Hmm…' Gwen smirked, suddenly. 'Well, Rose, there's your answer.'

Rose blinked. 'What?'

'An unwarranted emotional reaction can be abnormal to those who are unfamiliar to it,' Gwen explained. 'Maybe that's what has happened to your Doctor.'

'But it was so extreme,' Rose said. 'I mean, how often is it that people just go crazy just like that?'

'Actually, Rose,' Jack jumped in, glad to see the cat fight diminish, 'I've read that people with multiple personality disorder can do that sort of thing. Or was it borderline personality disorder?'

'Uhh…' Rose mumbled. 'I don't know anything about those, really. I mean, I kinda do. But not really. How does it work?'

'Which one?' Jack asked. 'They can kind of overlap. As mental illness goes.'

'But the Doctor's not mentally ill…' Rose muttered. 'Is he? He always seemed so normal… you know what I mean?'

There was a silence, broken only by Captain Harkness's cough.

'Anyway, Rose… You were wondering how those types of personality disorders can occur, right?' Jack began, and Rose nodded. 'Well, they start small. They usually do. This type of personality splicing, if you want to call it that, can occur when a part of somebody's personality – or psyche - is neglected and consciously split from the person. Isolated. It's viewed as something that is 'not them'.'

'But why does it spring up all of a sudden?'

'Emotional reaction, maybe. Like, how you got angry at Gwen and it was like another part of you appeared.'

'But that's not a split personality, that's just my personality when I'm angry,' Rose said. 'Sorry, Gwen, by the way.'

'No problem,' Gwen replied, smiling slightly. Rose smiled back.

'Anyway, so - what's the difference between just feeling an emotion and acting differently, to having some sort of disorder?' the blonde continued.

'The difference is…' Jack said. 'Is that since the 'other self' as viewed as an 'other self' it can acquire strength of its own. In severe cases, when it appears, the normal self would experience amnesia or something like that. They wouldn't realize their other self would be talking or doing anything at all.'

'Are you saying the Doctor's going to forget about all this?'

'That depends if he has a disorder or not.'

'But how are we supposed to know that?'

Jack frowned.

'I don't know.'

Rose sighed, exasperated.

'Then how are we any closer to understanding what's going on?'

* * *

The Doctor darted across the road and slumped into the alley, pulling his clothes back on and falling into the wall, shivering. The Doctor sighed and wiped his eyes.

What was wrong with him?

He had to see Rose. He had to see Rose right now. Rose… she would be so mad with him. So upset. Would she ever forgive him? Rose… He felt so dizzy. His mind felt hazy. For a minute, he rested, slumped against the wall, attempting to rid his body of the nausea that was starting to overwhelm him. It all became too much, however.

His stomach heaved and the Doctor vomited over the pavement. Lights flashed, danced and flickered before his eyes. His head span. He could taste bile on his tongue.

He squinted, barely holding onto consciousness. He felt so sick. So dizzy.

The Doctor laid as still as possible, sitting against the wall and panting and wiping his forehead. He felt feverish. Then he sensed somebody in front of him and peered up.

Rose Tyler was kneeling opposite him. Her eyes were sympathetic and kind, and her pretty lips perked into a frown as she looked him up and down.

'Doctor? Are you okay?'

* * *

'Wait - Rose, what did you say the Doctor said to you earlier?'

'Erm… "Stop talking."'

'No… before that.'

'"It's not a part of who I am"?' Rose repeated, and then her eyes grew wide. 'Oh, I think I see where you're going with this.'

Jack nodded. 'Maybe. He also said, "Am I human to you?" didn't he?'

Rose and Jack looked at each other, a sudden idea sinking into their minds.

'What?' Gwen asked. 'What is it?'

'Did you look up "Gallifreyan"?' Rose and Jack asked in unison.

'Uh, no, why?'

'Do it,' Jack ordered. 'Look it up right now. This could tell us more about what could be affecting the Doctor.'

Rose's breath suddenly got caught in her throat.

'What?' Jack asked. 'What's wrong?'

'Did the Tardis's light thingy previously look that colour?'

Jack looked down at the light pump whirring in the centre of the room. Its sound was slightly less fluid and the light had turned to a horrid mix of orange and green. Then Jack heard a familiar noise. Creaking and wailing... Like ice being dunked in cold water.

He turned to look up the stairs and noticed the cracks were slowly spreading across to the bedroom and walk-in wardrobe.

'Can you also look up "Tardis" and "Time Lord" in the same search?' Jack asked Gwen, his eyes scanning the moving fissures and eyeing the fluorescent goo seeping out of them. 'I think we might be in a bit of trouble.'


	6. Receptor

'Jack, for some reason the searches "Gallifreyan", "Time Lord" and "Tardis" all come up with the same file. The file is marked as private so you're going to have to input a password.'

'Okay, I'll tell you and reset it later – but don't go mucking about in different files, okay? This stuff is top secret for a reason.'

'But why would this file be marked as confidential? We've done searches on these things before – why would it have changed?'

'We'll have to see. Who made the file?'

Rose and Jack could hear Gwen typing into a computer.

'Unknown author.'

'That's weird.'

Gwen nodded in agreement. 'Yeah, it is. Maybe it's confidential as well.'

'Open it up.'

There was a pause as Jack told Gwen the password and she typed it into the computer, pressing enter.

'Oh my.'

'What?' Rose stammered, pulling Jack's wrist to her face so Gwen could see her. 'What is it?'

'I'll patch it through. Plug it into the Tardis's screen, it'll be easier to watch.'

Jack nodded and ran down the stairs, Rose following close behind. Jack found the Tardis's monitor and pressed a few buttons, establishing a wireless connection between the two. Jack received the data and patched it through to the Doctor's monitor. A pause symbol lit up on screen and Jack pressed play.

'Oh my god,' Rose muttered, as a face appeared on screen and started to move. 'It's him.'

Indeed, the Doctor was adjusting a camera on screen, standing in the Tardis control room, standing exactly where Rose and Jack were at that very moment. Rose and Jack exchanged glances. The Doctor on-screen took a few steps back, cleared his throat, and began to speak.

* * *

'_Hello. I am the Doctor. I am a Gallifreyan. I hacked into Torchwood's computer network and inputted this data. I have reason to believe my body may undergo massive systematic damage in the near future - for reasons I will soon explain. I hope to be able to offer the resources necessary in order to save my own life – and save the confusion of others.' _

_The Doctor glanced around the Tardis for a moment, the machine whirring peacefully._

'_This data would not have appeared in the Torchwood database unless it received a signal from the Tardis's mainframe computer. I programmed the Tardis into doing this when it starts to undergo self-initiated damage – albeit involuntarily. You see, the Tardis and I share a special bond. When my mind starts to deteriorate, the Tardis will inevitably do the same. If my life ends by this accord, the Tardis will cease to function. The initiation sequence I underwent as a child to become a Time Lord involved viewing the Time Vortex. Since then, my body has never been quite the same – part of my soul has in fact merged with the Time Vortex, a thing the Tardis is indefinitely linked to with its own mind. We are like peas in a pod, the Tardis and I. We share an unspoken connection.'_

_The Doctor's big brown eyes studied the screen._

'_But why would this happen? Why would my brain start to deteriorate? Well, you see, a physiological process of a Gallifreyan is flawed – though from an evolutionary perspective you'll find this can be quite beneficial – but at the same time, it is a little impractical – especially in my case. You see why I have never mentioned this before, not to anybody… in the wrong hands this information can be very dangerous. _

'_This video will remain present until the Tardis repairs itself – which is unlikely – or until the Tardis ceases to function… until _I_ cease to function. If you are watching this, you may be wondering what this physiological process is so I will explain it, and offer a solution. This solution may not work, in fact, it is likely to fail – but I have to try – I have to give it a shot. It's my only hope for survival.'_

_The Doctor stared at the screen, very seriously._

'_Love is a potent drug. In the Gallifreyan body, however, it can also be a potent poison. Gallifreyan physiology is built in order to allow the best possible evolution for its species. For this reason, feelings of love and the sex drive are very closely linked. _

'_Sperm production and ejaculation in the male cannot occur unless an all-encompassing feeling of love has been previously wired into the brain. This is the same for the female; her eggs are infertile unless these channels in the brain have been opened. A full chemical release relating to loving feelings triggers a healthy activation of the male and female gonads. If the sperm cells aren't produced properly, then the right amounts of hormones aren't produced – the sex drive does not properly exist. Same goes for the woman's menstrual cycle – in fact, the woman's cycle is on permanent pause unless she falls in love. This can occur any time beginning at puberty – when the organs are properly developed and the receptors in the brain are wired correctly but when it comes down to it, love comes before sex. It's the evolutionary result. Therefore, in order for procreation to occur, a loving bond between two Gallifreyans must be present.'_

_The Doctor smiled, faintly._

'_This doesn't mean one can love one person and then have sex with them without their approval. Sexual infidelity is also physiologically impossible. I must now mention a vital factor in whether the sex drive is activated or not, and where this self-destructive process can come into play. Pheromones._

'_A special type of pheromone is released through the sweat of the Gallifreyan and into the air when love toward an individual is known by the central nervous system. Once the brain's channel for this affection is activated, receptors can then pick up these pheromones from the other person and activate the sex drive – but ONLY if the pheromones come from the individual with whom they are affectionate towards. The brain is clever and instinctively knows which pheromones are whose. _

'_So effectively, this how sex occurs: _

_'First, the Gallifreyan falls in love, and then releases pheromones. _

_'reIf the love is reciprocated, it doesn't even need to be said, it is felt. A strong and sudden sexual attraction to a particular individual is the only sign one needs to know they are in love with you.'_

_The Doctor grinned a little. _

'_The sex drive, for this reason, is also incredibly strong. It very animalistic. When two personalities and minds are compatible – when two souls are supposed to meet - they usually fall in love, don't they? Since the normal life of a Gallifreyan is of an intellectual basis, intellectual compatibility has to occur first before sexual contact does. This might sound strange, but it has a very good purpose. It helps the species evolve effectively and it helps the two individuals to develop and pass their knowledge to their young – which is ingrained at a genetic level. The knowledge begins to show itself to the individual over time, through dreams and apparently random insights. Knowledge is a powerful factor in whether a person survives or not – this is why it is so important. If you know enough, you can overcome even the simplest physical restraints. Of course, at the genetic basis of it, all Gallifreyans are sexually compatible – but they're not all mentally compatible – and this is the important thing. The Gallifreyan species is very advanced, and this is how it evolves – with partners that complement the other's knowledge and lifestyle. A perfect couple can only do that… and that is how Gallifreyans fall in love and reproduce – when these factors are met.'_

_The Doctor suddenly looked very sad._

'_As such, the sex drive is very powerful – it can be triggered very quickly and it lasts until fertilization of the female occurs. The pheromones in a Gallifreyan have a very stable structure and they are not removed until they are chemically bonded to the pheromone released from the female at fertilization. The purpose of the sex drive is to ensure procreation between individuals, no matter what the cost. The torrid reaction between the two results in …' The Doctor smiled a little, and chuckled. 'Sex. A lot of it. Lots and lots. The pheromones settle after fertilization and the sex drive disappears, as sex is no longer necessary. This sex-drive removing pheromone is released for the duration of pregnancy, and for a certain length after birth, depending on the child – as they release their own hormone to the female to stop the release of this sex-drive stopping hormone. The nervous system of Gallifreyan young develops a lot quicker than normal, so they are able to think for themselves within the first few months – maybe the average capability of a human toddler. Back to the sex-drive though. _

'_As a random note, to those out there who may be interested, it is physiologically impossible to have any kind of sexual fetishism or same-sex relation _or_ more than one sexual partner – like humans do. The Gallifreyan pheromone receptors in the male and female are sensitive to that of the opposite sex, and that is all. Love can occur between members of the same sex, but sexual intercourse cannot occur. The Gallifreyan sex drive has a very specific purpose.'_

_The Doctor paused and clicked his tongue, his eyes rolling around the room for a moment before settling on the camera._

'_These pheromone receptors are where problems can occur. Of course, it's not supposed to happen in the first place, but it can. And this is how. While humans and Gallifreyans may share similar physiologies, their chemical make-up is essentially… a little different. The pheromones released from humans when they are sexually interested is remarkably similar to the hormone released from a Gallifreyan when they have fallen in love and thus desire sexual relations. As such, the pheromone travels along the same pathway as the Gallifreyan hormone. This is where problems occur. Gallifreyans and humans are physiologically incapable – they cannot procreate, simply because their DNA disallows it. This means that if this type of reaction occurs in a Gallifreyan's body, the physiological drive can and will shudder out of control._

'_The sex drive will exist but since the hormone is not of Gallifreyan origin and of a relatively unstable structure, they start to break down and off the receptors. The liver does not effectively remove these particles as the receptor-binding agents are required to continue circulating until procreation occurs between the Gallifreyan and the other individual – but as the individual is human, not Gallifreyan, this is physically impossible – the Gallifreyan is essentially infertile to human beings._

'_The receptor-binding particles thus circulate through the body and is then unstable enough to pass through the blood-brain barrier. Once it breaches the blood-brain barrier, which can happen in about thirty minutes after the human female sex pheromones attach to the receptors, the broken particles start to cause brain damage. It moves around the central nervous system, causing a lot of problems as it does. It is very dangerous. The sex drive is not satisfied and as long as those hormones are still circulating, it can destroy the Gallifreyan from the inside out. As no Gallifreyan female is present to release the hormone to remove these particles, the human pheromone is a very potent poison.'_

_The Doctor's stare was very intense._

'_This brain damage causes delusions as well as incredible mood swings. Confusion, mania, and severe depression can occur, as the brain becomes increasingly injured. Hallucinations and physical sickness may occur as the brain deteriorates further, but death will eventually follow.'_

'_That being said, I hope very much to avoid a situation like that. I have taken the measures necessary in order to reduce the risk but I worry I may start projecting my dissatisfaction on others. If that has ever occurred, you may have noticed it as a precursor to strange behaviour – denial can only last so long – denial can actively close a that love-excited channel that opens a Gallifreyan up to the pheromone receptors - the love has to be properly accepted by the individual in order to be truly present. It is a measly defence, but a defence, nonetheless. I hope it is enough, but I have strong doubts, which is why I am making this video. It's quite hard not to fall in love, especially with the right person…'_

_The Doctor paused again._

'_The only thing I can think of that might possibly help me once this reaction has started, is merging my body with the Tardis. It contains an energy that can help facilitate regeneration, but due to the mood swings, regeneration might not occur - simply because of emotional rejection. A Time Lord can always choose not to regenerate, you see… _

'_You may notice the Tardis beginning to fall apart, and you may notice it starting to bleed. This liquid is dangerous for many, but quite able to be accepted by the body of a Time Lord – it contains the energy that allows regeneration to occur to selected sites. If the Tardis's core shuts down and I slip into a coma, smearing this glowy blood stuff on my body – particularly my temples and head - might help me. There are some special gloves in a draw under the computer monitor – they have funny little smiley faces on them. But my hopes are small for survival, nonetheless – if I fall into a coma, I doubt I would have much time left to live. Maybe a few minutes – maybe less.'_

_The Doctor smiled sadly and shook his head._

'_Of course, I could have always removed the human in question from all forms of contact… but I think I'd rather…'_

_The Doctor stopped talking for a moment, deciding against finishing his sentence. He leant toward the screen, and flicked it off._

The Doctor's transmission ended.

* * *

_A/N: I seriously fried my brain writing this chapter, I had to make sure the processes all made sense. Since I've studied anatomy and am currently studying physiology and pathophysiology, I felt it was even more important to make sure it was logical and reasonable... after all, this is an important part of the story! I hope it makes sense to you guys, I really worked hard on making it sound right. :) Adios until the next chapter! I just have to edit it... a lot... and then post it, but it shouldn't be too long. You'll survive until next time, won't you?_


	7. Tardis

Rose looked up as the video finished. The Tardis's pump was moving up and down very jaggedly, making loud clunking noises. The light emitted was a deep blood red and it tinted the room a powerful crimson. Rose's insides plummeted as she looked behind her. The cracks were descending the staircase and seeping down into the floor. The Tardis started to sound an alarm as the cracks reached the ceiling and the room shook like there was an earthquake. The wailing and moaning the Tardis made made Rose's insides squirm; it was like the machine was screaming. The familiar fluroscent liquid seeped onto the floor, making small pools of liquid.

Jack ran toward the door and wrenched it open after buzzing the sonic screwdriver.

'Rose, we have to get out of here!'

She was stunned to the spot.

'Rose!'

But the girl could only think of one thing as she saw the Tardis collapsing before her eyes: The Doctor.

She burst out the door and threw herself into the alley, hitting the wall opposite. A whiff of the foul smell made her gag but she held her breath and ran full pelt down the alley, knocking things over and dodging obstacles as she went. '_DOCTOR! Where are you? Answer me! Doctor!_'

* * *

Lights flashed before the Doctor's eyes and his vision went in and out of focus. In the haze, he remembered he was supposed to do something, but couldn't quite think what. His voice was haggard as he struggled to push words out of his chest.

_'Rose..._'

Rose Tyler walked toward him and gently placed a hand on his arm, the other caressing his clammy face.

'Doctor, do you remember what you're supposed to do?'

The Doctor shook his head mournfully.

'No.'

His stomach heaved again and he dry retched, having nothing left in his stomach to expel. He wiped saliva away from his mouth with a shaky limb and realized he felt very disorientated. He looked around him, suddenly at a loss as to where he was.

'Where am I?'

Rose looked sympathetic.

'The Tardis, Doctor.'

'I don't remember the Tardis looking like this,' the Doctor mumbled, looking up and down the alley with a distinct tiredness. 'Did it change its appearance again?'

'No, I mean the _Tardis_, Doctor. You're supposed to get to the Tardis.'

The Doctor suddenly looked at Rose darkly, a heavy feeling surrounding him.

'The Tardis is dead.'

Rose knelt next to him.

'If the Tardis is dead, then what are you?'

'Then I'm dead, too,' the Doctor said simply, pathetically. He looked at his hand. 'At least, I should be.'

'What makes you think the Tardis is dead?'

'I can't feel it.'

'But you _can_ feel it. You can feel _yourself_ – how weak you are.'

'So the Tardis is dying with me after all. Fantastic,' The Doctor grumbled, all hope lost.

But suddenly, Rose's face started to change. At first he thought he was just imagining it but soon her eye sockets had vanished into her skull leaving big black holes.

He was stricken with an indescribable feeling of terror as he watched her body change. His hearts pounded against his chest and his limbs shook with painful spasms.

Her hair fall out and her jaw fall off her face, a trail of blood and skin and muck following it to the ground. Her pearly white teeth jutted out of her head like some kind of shark. Her back creaked and her spine grew, her body contorting over itself. Her hands grew to accommodate large claws. Her skin failed to be silky and smooth and instead grew large boils that burst with pus, searing the skin like acid. Large black horns grew out of her forehead and her teeth grew sharp and pointy, becoming razor like. Her tongue grew and lengthened, bacteria-infested saliva coating and dripping off it. Her legs bent at odd angles and her arms lengthened. As the acid destroyed the integrity of the skin, it left a layer of glossy scales shining blue with a multi-coloured sheen, her hands and back seared charcoal. The Doctor's fear turned to curiosity and he watched in awe.

Smoke issued out of the creature's mouth, a jaw lengthening and reconstructing to resemble that of a lizard's. The creature left behind was one the Doctor had only heard about.

Purple antennae sprung out of the creature's head and back, all the way down to a small reptilian tail. Rose was no longer female and beautiful, but a male reptilian creature named the Burmont. It had no eyes, but it saw all.

It was a monster the Doctor was familiar with only by word of mouth. It was a hideous but intelligent creature that visited those in a hallucinatory state, usually on their deathbed. It could disguise itself in different forms, but the most well known was the human's Grim Reaper. It didn't come to kill, like it was stigmatized for, but came to ease its viewers into death... into another life.

This, the Doctor had heard, was its true form. But how and why it attained such a gruesome appearance he was not sure.

'I've heard of you,' The Doctor muttered, peering at the monster's towering figure. 'You're the Burmont.'

The Burmont issued a heavy amount of smoke from its beastly mouth, speaking only mind-to-mind.

_And I've heard of you. You're the Doctor._

'Yes,' the Doctor said, perking up. 'Yes, I am. But I must say I wasn't expecting to see you around for awhile.'

His head began to spin again. The great creature moved forward and touched the Doctor's left leg as it became paralyzed. The Doctor felt his leg become lighter, and he kicked it out – an ethereal leg detatching from his physical one.

'Thanks for that.'

But the Doctor felt very weak, and finally felt himself losing consciousness. His body slumped over itself and his eyes drooped shut as if into a deep sleep. The last thing the Doctor was aware of was the creature pressing a claw to the Doctor's forehead. The Doctor's vision was filled with bright light and he breathed it in like oxygen, his body feeling warm. Then, his eyes opened, his vision clear. He stepped out of his body, a light-form replica of the Doctor standing over his physical one. He didn't feel sick any more, in fact, he felt great! He stretched and exhaled loudly. The Doctor's physical form lay motionless on the ground.

'Well that's much better!' the light-Doctor grinned, turning toward the Burmont. 'Thank you!'

The monster ignored him and spoke.

_Over the next ten minutes the world around you will start to disappear. The least important, like this alley, will disappear first, and the most important things will disappear last. You might feel a little alarmed to have nothing but darkness left in the end, but that's just part of the progression - you'll soon be home, Doctor._

'Home...' the Doctor frowned, and looked around the alley, suddenly wondering where the time machine had went. 'The Tardis is my home.'

_The Tardis was part of you._ The Burmont replied. _It was part of you, and now it is gone, just like you are. I will show you its original form, as I believe it wishes to speak with you._

In a flash, they disappeared, reappearing inside the Tardis. The Doctor looked around at his dear old friend, the place an abandoned wreck. Cracks lined every inch and out of deep crevasses seeped the Tardis's blood – the regenerative liquid. The light in the center had shut down, the only light source coming from the door open to the outside.

Deep cracks lined the Tardis's pump casing and the bright liquid oozed out of it in copious amounts. As The Doctor observed the destroyed wreckage of a machine, he suddenly felt very sad, realizing something vital.

'I wasn't supposed to die, yet...' The Doctor muttered, frowning. 'I wasn't supposed to die yet at all... but... I guess it's a bit late for that now.' He looked to the Burmont at his right. 'Where is the Tardis? I want to see her.'

Suddenly, something appeared through the cracks in the Tardis's pump, an ethereal form like the Doctor was. It jumped through the glass and to the floor with a small thump. It was a small blue balloon-like blob the size of a soccer-ball, purple antennae growing out of its back and ending at a small tail like the Burmont. It shook itself like a dog as if to remove something irritating.

The creature then opened its eyes to reveal blackened sockets. The Doctor stared at it as it bounced forward.

_This_ was the Tardis? This tiny little creature was the life of the machine he had known for so long?

When it arrived at the Doctor's feet, the Doctor knelt to get a closer look.

A mouth grew out of its body and smiled broadly, a full house of razor-sharp teeth glinting at him. The Burmont sent a telepathic message to the two of them.

_Doctor, I'd like you to meet the Tardis. Tardis, I believe you are already aware of the Doctor?_

The tiny creature coughed and sprayed the floor in front of it with soot.

'But you look familiar,' The Doctor said to the tiny creature, looking from the Tardis to the Burmont with wide eyes. 'Are you two related somehow?'

* * *

_A/N: This part of the story didn't turn out how I originally anticipated, but I'm glad it didn't. Stories sometimes write themselves, you know? And the Tardis creature and the Burmont are obviously my creations though they are based off things that already exist - so I guess they're not so much creations as refined forms.._

_The jaw falling off Rose as she turns into the Burmont reminds me heavily of David Cronenberg's The Fly when Brundlefly's jaw gets ripped off and so begins its final transformation - actually that's kind of where I got the idea to make her jaw fall off. I suppose you could relate that back to this, as this is, in some weird way, the Doctor's final transformation (though it's not like his jaw is getting ripped off, is it?) I really love David Cronenberg's movies (though the director himself looked a lot cooler when he was younger) and I also really love the movie Videodrome. Not many people would have seen those two films, especially Videodrome, but I see a few similarities between aspects of this story and those ones._

_You may have noticed I put a warning on the story summary as somebody requested I do so as they didn't like reading the rape scene and wanted people to be warned so similar sensitive people could avoid it. Sure, rape ain't nice - but it's a fictional story and the scene has a point in the plot. I don't really like the warning because I worry it might pull people away from reading a potentially good story and it also kind of spoils it, don't you think? If I were to remove it I would replace it with something a little more ambiguous but implying the dark tone of the story - as it's not all happy and bubbly, is it? "Warning: Dark" is too ambiguous isn't it? I might just change it to sexual assault, but that still spoils it, considering what's mentioned in the summary. Ooh, what about "Warning: Ideologically sensitive"? That could definitely work considering some of the scenes and topics raised in the story. I think I'll do that._

_Anyway, ignore my chatter - read on to the next chapter!_


	8. Hearts

'Are you two related somehow?' the Doctor asked.

The Tardis hiccupped and a bit of smoke issued out. The Burmont spoke.

_She is a little shy but this dear Tardis is closely related to me. But not by blood, as I don't truly have any._

The Doctor knelt against the machine's rubble as the Tardis's ethereal form jumped around the room abruptly like some kind of energetic dog, leaping into the Time Lord's arms as it made the round back. He gave the creature a gentle squeeze, the Tardis purring and snapping its teeth cheerfully.

'You've been a great companion, old friend,' the Doctor said softly, caressing the creature's pretty antennae that flicked back like springs. 'It's a pity this is the first time we've really met.'

The Burmont was still, its gargantuan form bellowing smoke like carbon dioxide.

'Can you speak, Tardis?' the Doctor asked. The creature wiggled into his chest.

_Yes._

The Doctor blinked. Its mental-voice was not truly feminine, but neither was the Burmont's male. Perhaps their gender was merely a concept as their inner voices conveyed themselves as words instead of voiced gender personification. They were equally monotonous. Equal in pitch.

'Tardis, how are you and the Burmont related?' the Doctor asked carefully, pulling the creature away from his body and holding it in his hands.

_We stem from the same creation-thread. _

The Doctor nodded, urging it to continue.

_We are related in that we hold similar ethereal structure and power. The difference is that I am to inhabit a physical body, usually of a set mechanical design, to create a specialized link between the selected body and the Time Vortex. The Burmont is linked to the Time Vortex as well but resides in a purely ethereal or mental form for a different purpose than I – to create a passageway between the alive and physical mental world, and the physically dead and mental limbo known as the afterlife, or death. We both exist to fulfill our individual purpose in linking. The Gallifreyans knew how to summon me into their machines, so it is how I came to inhabit yours._

'I know that ritual but have never performed it myself,' the Doctor pondered out loud, remembering what he knew. 'It can easily go wrong and be abused. The creation of time machines was actually banned for a few hundred years at one point for several reasons – this being one of them. If I remember correctly, there needs to be more than one Gallifreyan to perform it, including a Time Lord. It requires the sacrifice of a Time Lord's life, as the regenerative process acts as a channel – a burst of creative energy – to summon the spirit of the machine, a Tardis creature.

'The Time Lord mentally summons the creature as it regenerates simply by desiring it to appear in the machine in sacrifice for their own life, while the other Gallifreyans chant a phrase that had previously been subconsciously ingrained into the Time Lord, so the Time Lord remembers what they are doing through each stage of the summoning process, including the last moments of their life. The Gallifreyans also use some magic to create a connection – a passageway - between the Time Lord and the machine so the spirit is effectively summoned. It is a dangerous practice and requires a lot of mental and emotional preparation. The creation of a time machine is not for just any Time Lord and requires strict and careful overview from the Gallifreyans present as well as the Gallifreyan governing council.'

The Tardis just looked at him, possibly aware of this story, but the Doctor continued.

'I remember a few young Gallifreyans breaking their way into viewing the Time Vortex to become Time Lords and attempting to create time machines of their own. They were young and foolish and they all died. They didn't know how to do it properly so they kept regenerating and regenerating until they had no lives left.'

The Doctor suddenly looked very bitter, and glared at the heart and soul of the Tardis in his hands, its antennae waving back and forth as if in contemplation.

'So why did our minds – our _souls_ - connect in such a way?' the Doctor asked, his eyebrows furrowing. 'Why did it happen? Why did you decide to follow me and end your own life when Gallifreyan physiology failed? It was disrespectful of the Time Lord's life who brought you here and also gives my friends down here no way home! They'll be stuck in the Victorian era forever!'

The tiny Tardis's mouth shut and slanted, its entire body flinching when the Doctor raised his voice.

'_Well?_' the Doctor demanded loudly. 'I'm waiting, Tardis! Tell me why and how it happened. I want to know!'

As he asked, the alley outside started to disappear.

* * *

'Jack? Jack! Over this way, he's over here!' Rose yelled back down the alley, her voice echoing as it bounced off the walls. She saw the Doctor's body at the mouth of the alley, a curled up heap on the ground. She rushed forward, kneeling at his side.

'Can you hear me, Doctor?'

She cringed at the vomit on the pavement and rolled the Doctor over so his upper half wasn't bent over by the vomit pool but flat on the ground like the rest of him. She pressed her ear to his chest.

Nothing. No sound. No beats. Nothing.

Rose took a shuddering breath and looked to each side of his chest. 'How am I supposed to give him heart compressions when he's got two of them?'

Jack ushered to her side, kneeling next to her.

'Is he dead?'

Rose nodded, her eyes filling with tears.

'Do you know CPR?'

'Yeah, of course. It's part of my basic training.'

'Help me, will you?' Rose said, indicating to the Doctor's other side.

'There's vomit there.'

'Well fine then, we'll _move_ him!'

She dragged the Doctor away by the legs and further into the smelly alleyway, resting him next to an old couch with a heavy bleach stain - or at least she hoped it was.

'Okay, you take that side, and I'll take this side. When I say go, we'll both start pumping his chest,' Rose instructed, pinching the Doctor's nose and tilting his chin back. She cupped her mouth over his and gave him two long and steady breaths. 'Okay,' she adjusted herself over the Doctor's body, her arms straight and hands overlapping onto the Doctor's chest. 'Take that side – what are you waiting for?'

'Rose, we don't know how blood circulates around his body,' Jack said simply, albeit bluntly. 'We might end up rupturing his arteries.'

Rose hung her head, looking at the pale-faced Doctor and shaking her head slowly. She sniffed. He was right. A few tears dripped off her nose and she gave the Doctor's hand a squeeze, vainly hoping he'd feel it wherever he was. It was cool and clammy. Lifeless. Her breath shuddered and her shoulders shook slightly. The Doctor was dead.

'Rose, don't you remember what the Doctor mentioned in his video? He said we have to put the Tardis's blood on him, don't you remember?'

'Yeah, I do,' Rose groaned. 'But he said to do that if he slipped in a coma – and he's _not_ in a coma, he's _dead!_ He's dead, Jack!'

She burst into tears, wrapping her arms around her knees and sobbing into her arms. Jack moved next to her and unwrapped her arms, giving her a hug, his own eyes watering. The Doctor was dead. He refused to break down, though.

'_Rose…_ Rose, I think we have to try. We have to stop wasting time, some part of the Doctor might still be in there,' Jack said, his voice cracking for a moment. He cleared his throat and helped Rose to her feet. 'We'll have to carry him.'

'Uh, well…' Rose began, wiping her face and looking down at the Doctor's lifeless form. 'I'll take his legs, and you take his upper half.'

'Forget it,' Jack said, and he bent down and pulled the Doctor into his arms by the waist, the Time Lord's head lolling to the side. 'It'll take to long. I'll carry him myself.'

He heaved the Doctor over his shoulder, got to his feet, and walked down the alley at a quick, but careful pace. Rose observed the Doctor's upper body as it swayed across the Captain's back with his steps.

'You coming?' Jack inquired, turning his head back and flashing her a grin, his eyes shining with tears and his voice on the verge of breaking. 'You're going to miss the Doctor's big regeneration day! He'll be like Jesus - except without all the crucifixion and stuff.'

* * *

_A/N: The Doctor's granddaughter._

_I received a review illustrating a particular concern about the Doctor's granddaughter in that this story implied that Rose was the Doctor's first love (or only love) and therefore the Doctor's granddaughter didn't exist. Sure, Rose is the Doctor's first love... but his first love in a very long time! You know what I mean?_

_It was mentioned in one of the earliest chapters that the Doctor hadn't felt his sex-drive in a very long time - and you know what that means! It means he hadn't truly loved anybody in a long time, either. It was mentioned in the Receptor chapter that procreation can occur between, well, soul-mate types. "Perfect couples" so to speak, and this is true. Perhaps this is where confusion arose, but I kept the Doctor's granddaughter in mind when I wrote this story - I've seen the first episode of Doctor Who when she's there and she's quite a cutie! But the truth is that we don't really know what happened to the Doctor's children, let alone partner. It's clear something happened there, perhaps they were simply killed in the Time War. I looked on the Wikipedia page that the Doctor's granddaughter fell in love with some freedom fighter fellow. I am afraid I have not seen this much of the old series, but I assume he was human. On the page, however, it never mentions if this David person ever really had a future with her - in my defense! But back to the Doctor, people move on, people change, people fall in love with new people. Love is something we can't avoid sometimes, as much as we might like to deny it. Rose is something special to the Doctor and she complements his knowledge in a special way; she helps him look on the bright side of things and offers new ideas... and that's not bad, is it? (Ever seen her mention something in DW and then have the Doctor kinda looking at her like... "Huh. Never thought of that.") :) Plus, Rose is cute and pretty cool, so no wonder he ended up liking her!_

_I hope this makes sense and I hope this clears up some of your exasperation, Anna1912! I couldn't find a way to reply to your review so I decided to answer it here, especially if other people have also been wondering if I had forgotten about the Doctor's granddaughter or thought I didn't realize she exists. Trust me, I am quite aware! If he had children the Doctor's partner must have been Gallifreyan, so of course he didn't die! If we're going by my idea anyway... (And thank you for your flattering comments, by the way. I'm quite grateful.) _

_Thank you for your lovely reviews, readers!_


	9. Hallucination

The Tardis moved over to the Burmont. The two spoke in silence, sending mind-messages to and fro. The Doctor watched suspiciously. What were they talking about?

Then... the Burmont melted into a steaming lump of sticky goo. The aqua lump shimmered and made loud sucking noises when it rolled, slickly trailing toward the Doctor. The Doctor raised his eyebrows and looked toward the little Tardis creature.

The Tardis grinned broadly, as if anticipating a tasty meal.

_Doctor, I assume you have a basic knowledge of genetics. _

Its expression grew gentle, and it continued.

_At the heart of all beings – or at the basis of their genetic code, rather – a particular genotype is switched on when the body senses unhesitant death. This should be relatively simple to understand; organic lifeforms undergo a number of genetic changes in relation to their environment and experiences. It is the basis of the human study called epigenetics. Even identical twins, different beings sprouted from the same genetic code, can have different DNA sequences by the end of their lives. Identical twins will most likely end up genetically different as their experiences would end up being different. The piece of code that is activated when the system senses death is a dormant gene that cannot be stamped out through a hereditary line - it is bound to be activated at a certain point in time, death specifically. It is a normal and healthy part of our biological process._

The Tardis blinked its eyeless sockets, as if to check the Doctor understood its explanation. The Doctor nodded.

'Okay, well, you better hurry up and explain why you did what you did, Tardis, or we'll probably die soon!'

The Tardis smiled dolefully.

_You're already dead._

'Okay. My _body_ may be dead, but my mind… my _soul_… my _memories_… are not,' the Doctor admitted. 'Not yet, anyway. I don't remember what it is like when it all disappears… I really don't.'

_The Burmont is strongly connected to the time-space continuum. He did say 10 minutes until it all disappears, but in reality, he can stop it or fast-forward it as he pleases. The 10 minute mark tends to be the place where most people move on, once they've made the necessary adjustments, realizations, etc._

Suddenly, the Tardis dissolved into a ball of muck, just like the Burmont.

_The Burmont and I share similar genetic code, as we have been born under the same... methodology. What I would like to do, Doctor, is give you the answers to your questions in a method that will… make more sense. The Burmont and I…_

The Tardis's ball of muck slowly attached to the Burmont's ball of muck, a small thread of light stitching them together like pieces of fabric.

… _are going to merge minds together, temporarily. The Burmont is able to make this connection with all living beings because of that DNA sequence I mentioned earlier that can be switched on during the process of bodily dying and death. It is currently connected to the both of us, because our bodies have ceased to function the same way. It is countless connected with many others. I am simply going to lend my memories to the Burmont. Since our codes are so similar, we can merge our minds together and essentially become one being. You and the Burmont could probably achieve this as well, except your physical forms will not merge. The sensory hallucination is the facet by which the Burmont functions - it is how we are able to see each other, and hear each other, and feel each other as we are now. This is how I will communicate to you my memory._

The Doctor frowned, something suddenly occurring to him.

'If my DNA contains something that allows me to hallucinate… then how is it this process can still occur when my body is dead?'

_Your body's cells are still able to function after life has left the body, but barely. Soon, even they will run out of energy. Body decomposition will occur eventually. Your DNA is still alive and functions the same way; you are, in a small way, still connected to your body. It is when the important things start to disappear that your body will have run out of the stores vital to hold you to it and everything will soon be black. This projection of your body has a set structure, related to your body's cells, your memories and perceptions… and when the body ceases to function completely, you would have truly passed on._

The Doctor frowned, looking at his ghostly hands in amazement.

'You're saying I'm still alive?'

_Barely. Human doctors would disagree. The vital force giving your body proper function has left. That is what death meant to you, wasn't it, Doctor?_

The Doctor gently pushed his ghostly hand into his other, and pressed, hard. With some effort, his hand started to sink into his other hand. He gasped and pulled them apart immediately.

The Doctor looked around him, his insides suddenly quaking with fear. 'What is happening to me?'

_Your mind is changing, adapting to this new world._

The voice paused.

_I am going to tell you about our minds now, if you would not mind._

The Doctor nodded quickly.

'Yes, of course. Excuse me. Please do. I think I've had enough of death for the moment. Tell me how and why our minds connected, Tardis.'

The newly-formed ball of muck glowed and the mechanical Tardis they were in suddenly flashed a brilliant green. The light pump whirred and hummed, the cracks had all disappeared… but so had the Doctor's dead body. The Doctor looked up, and saw a copy of him typing at the Tardis's control panel.

The Doctor finally caught on. No wonder it felt so familiar. It was a flashback. This was the Tardis's memory.

_Third person is the Burmont's preferred method of memory-review. I will quickly explain something for you._

'Why doesn't the Burmont explain?'

_What are you talking about?_

The Doctor looked around in confusion, he couldn't see either being anywhere.

'Aren't you the Tardis speaking to me?'

_No. _

The Doctor listened carefully to the voice ringing in his head. It was monotonous, characteristics the voices of both the Tardis and the Burmont had. It could have been either one of them, or both of them. They both sounded exactly the same. The Doctor realized as he heard the voice he immediately thought of the Tardis and the Burmont – and what that meant. He saw their image in his mind. The two of them together. He furrowed his brows, and looked around. The voice wasn't coming from anywhere in particular; so instead he focused on his Time Lord self fiddling with the Tardis controls.

_We are both. The Burmont has used its hallucinatory powers to re-create an image from the Tardis's mind for you. The Tardis wishes to explain the connection the two of you had in a method that may allow you to connect ideas more easily._

The Doctor floated gently toward his memory-self, looking so determinedly at the Tardis's screen. As he looked at what he was typing, he remembered the memory. It had occurred earlier that day.

"TARDIS," he had typed, the ghostly Doctor muttering the sentence under his breath just as the memory-Doctor did. The words appeared in a bright orange – a delicate contrast to the green-like glow of the Tardis's room. "Open TIME_DATABASE, CENTURY:18. VICTORIAN_ERA."

As the Doctor pressed enter, a few words flashed back at him in bright green.

"Enter DAY/MONTH/YEAR? Enter SUBJECT? Enter PERSON?"

The Doctor typed.

"Enter SUBJECT."

Bright orange words appeared again. The Tardis's programming regurgitating back requests.

"Type SUBJECT."

"Female Hysteria."

The monitor blinked. Then a huge list of names, articles, dates, and discoveries appeared on screen. But the Doctor heard something he had never heard before … and he was suddenly reminded that this was not his memory. A horrid voice echoed throughout the room, hidden underneath a static buzz. The voice was very jagged, as if a machine was trying to speak for the first time. It sounded like a faulty radio station was ejecting the frequency. The loud clanging noises might have been the mechanical physiology undergoing a great amount of stress. The voice was eerie.

It occurred to the Doctor that this is what the Tardis really was. Its eyes were that of the machine, its voice was the machine. Its voice was monotone in the dead-world because its _real_ voice was only physically present when it had a physical presence, in its body, the Time Machine. The Tardis.

"TARDIS_PLAN -clank!- + DOCTOR_DREAM –clank!- = SEXUAL-clank!-_INTEREST. DOCTOR_NO_HEAR_ -clank!-TARDIS?"

But the memory-Doctor heard none of this queer ramble, just the rumbling of the Tardis's machinery. As the machine spoke, the Doctor watched a bright-green message appear over the list.

"Refine SEARCH?"

The memory-Doctor pushed his square-rimmed glasses further up his nose.

"SEARCH for TIME/PLACE/PERSON where SUBJECT is MOST_PROMINENT."

Bright green letters flashed under the orange command prompt at the bottom of the screen.

"TRAVEL to THIS_PLACE?"

Options appeared on screen.

"YES" and "NO".

A tiny arrow appeared on the left of the word "YES" and the Doctor pressed enter. The Tardis suddenly chugged and whirred… and the Doctor grinned broadly, anticipating the day ahead. The dull, yet high-pitched frequency masked the Tardis's mechanical voice.

"DOCTOR does_not -clank!- hear TARDIS?"

But the Doctor continued to grin, and when Rose Tyler appeared in the room, an excruciating loud yelling noise filled the room, making the ethereal Doctor flinch. The sound was etched with an indescribable agony. It tore the ethereal Doctor in two. The machine sounded like it was in pain. How could something so loud be unheard by him or Rose?

Suddenly, it was as if the machine's yell was on a scratched CD track as it repeated itself, and slowed, the memory chugging to a stop. The ethereal Doctor was still confused, however, even though the memory was over.

'Tardis,' the Doctor muttered, holding his hand to his head. 'I still don't understand. This doesn't… explain… I don't get it. How can our minds be connected… and yet the memory _I_ have of that scene didn't have a word you were saying?' The Doctor held his hands up in defeat before laying them down by his sides, shaking his head. 'I'm sorry, Tardis.'

Suddenly, the memory of the Tardis flickered back into view, only… the Doctor or Rose wasn't there.

"DOCTOR does_not -clank!- _WISH _TO_UNDERSTAND TARDIS."

The Doctor flinched, and looked down at himself. He was no longer see-through. This couldn't be right…

'Tardis?'

There was that horrendous mechanical yelling again. The pitches alternating and the static rumbling. The ceiling shook and the lights flickered. The noise echoed off the walls and penetrated the Doctor's mind. An excruciating pain filled his head. The noise was so loud and deafening.

But then, suddenly, it all stopped. The Doctor opened his eyes, squinting, as if to recover from a violent sandstorm.

The tiny Tardis creature was in front of the Doctor, at his feet. The Burmont was next to him. The shattered Tardis room was around them with cracks everywhere… The Doctor's dead body on the floor. It was back to normal.

The tiny creature's eye sockets were leaking… That is, that's what the Doctor thought until he realized the tiny thing was crying. The Burmont let out a bellow of smoke over the two ethereal beings.

_I stopped that hallucination. The Tardis was being foolish._

'Tardis…?' The Doctor asked cautiously, bending down and picking the creature up. It tried to escape, but the Doctor pulled it into his chest once more, trying to soothe it by stroking its antennae all the way from its big head to its tiny tail. The Doctor then held the Tardis out in front of him, and the creature's sockets peered at him. It then opened its mouth wide, and a thick, foamy black mixture poured out of its mouth. It squirmed in his hands. The tar-like substance splattered at the Doctor's feet, smelling strongly of petrol and ashfelt. The Doctor didn't dare drop the creature, however, just stared at it with an intense and steady gaze.

'Why did you do that?'

_You will hate me._

'What?' the Doctor asked, completely befuddled. 'Why would I hate you?'

_BECAUSE I KILLED YOU!_

The Doctor flinched, its mental-voice very loud and booming.

'I don't think I understand,' the Doctor muttered. 'I'm very sorry, Tardis. I wish I could understand, but... you haven't really _explained_ very much.' He placed the little blue creature on the floor, careful not to put it in the pile of blackness it expelled. 'There you go. Now, Tardis… why don't you –'

_YOU'RE GOING TO HATE ME._

_

* * *

_

_A/N: I don't know about you guys but I'm getting a little sick of the lack of scenery change and the Tardis's droning explaining (no offense, Tardis). Thankfully, the next chapter has a change of scenery (after some point), and we move away from the Tardis completely. I hope it's clear between when I mention the Tardis as the machine and the Tardis as the little blue thing. I apologize for the breaks between updates, but a writer's gotta breathe, you know? I also have spent all of today with a fever, some sort of viral infection. Like that's an excuse, hahaha. I've been sleeping most of the day. I think it's funny that the fever doesn't seem to activate until I'm conscious, but maybe it's just my imagination. Only when I wake up it takes awhile for my system to turn up the heat... _every_ time._

_Also, I doubt many of you have seen the campy 80's movie Electric Dreams (not Blade Runner aka "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" which I have yet to see by the way) but I'm seeing parallels between Electric Dreams and this story, also. It's a pretty fun movie to watch, albeit a bit ridiculous at times, but I adore the soundtrack and the music scenes... namely those featuring Culture Club songs. You'll see what I mean if you see it, or know what I mean if you've seen it. I might explain how it relates to this, or maybe not. But the Tardis's yelling at the end just reminds me of the computer in that movie... along with other things. _

_Random fact, I am an identical twin. Sometimes I find it stunning how different we are, and yet how similar... but I guess that's just how it is with twins sometimes, y'know? Years and years ago some friends at school were filming a video asking people "What makes you unique?" I remember saying "My DNA" automatically when I was asked, only to realize after I had been filmed, that that wasn't true at all - at least at the time, and with the knowledge of my grade. Thankfully epigenetic research shows that despite identical twins having identical DNA in the beginning, it changes as the different individuals are exposed to different stimuli. I think this is very appropriate. Changes in personality and experience should turn up in DNA. Anyway, enough of my rambling... to the next chapter!_


	10. Stimulation

'Tardis…'

The creature made a low rumbling noise at the back of its throat, almost like a growling dog.

_I aided in your demise, Doctor. I saw the way you observed me, the machine, in such a way – I knew you wanted to know more about me. In my connection to the time-space continuum, I could even read your mind. You didn't believe you could understand the continuum - you didn't believe you could ever understand _me_, when all you had to do was listen for me. Over the years, I changed for you. I could hear your thoughts; I could understand what you wanted. I knew your deepest and darkest desires, and I could not interfere with them. I changed the Tardis's structure over the years to fit your changing image and changing desires and thoughts - I made the one-way soundproofing for you._

The tiny creature peered at the Doctor with its gaping eye-sockets.

_In the deepest hollows of your heart, you wanted to understand me. All those years, you wanted to. And I wanted you to understand me, I wanted you to be able to hear me. But Doctor, you… _It frowned, suddenly shaking._ …you wouldn't listen. You would never listen. You couldn't listen. You _refused_ to!_

'Well, I didn't believe you could truly communicate,' the Doctor said fairly, albeit lamely. 'What was I supposed to do?'

_Believe, at the bottom of your heart, Doctor, that I _could_. All you had to do was ask me a question and listen for me. But you asked _yourself_ questions, never fully reaching your mind out to mine. You wanted to know me so badly. You could sense something alive in there, and you wanted to understand it – you opened yourself up to me, but wouldn't let me fully inside._

The Doctor couldn't help thinking that it sounded like some kind of dysfunctional relationship. 'So this is how our minds linked?'

_Not quite. I wanted you to meet me, and you wanted to meet me. I decided that the only way for you to accomplish your dream and to finally meet me … to understand the life inside the machine… is that you would have to die in a very specific way. __I held on completely voluntarily, it was a constant and miserable - yet somehow ecstatic - experience. __I decided to hold my link to your mind in such a way that I would die as you did._

'The same time, huh?' The Doctor muttered, clicking his tongue at the end of his sentence. 'Some part of your body must still be alive too, then.'

_Certainly. There is still my programming. The Gallifreyans coded it in a certain way – it was almost like DNA. It functioned in a similar way, anyhow. When I entered the machine, I made an imprint on it… and that imprint is still very much there. Nonetheless, Doctor…_

The creature looked up at the Doctor.

_Are you disappointed in me? I killed you._

'Ahh… Yes, well. How did you – ah – "kill me"? Enlighten me. I don't see it.'

_We were connected on a level that allowed me to encourage parts of you that you unconsciously desired. But in a way that remained in the unconscious mind. As you saw in that memory, I mentioned a "dream"… "DOCTOR_DREAM"... You started to dream of Rose Tyler the night before, and you dreamt the two of you going on some kind of holiday. _

_I branched on this and convinced your unconscious to research female hysteria – introducing it to you as a very good idea - a dream to be made reality. The appeal to your unconscious was that you could finally show Rose that you knew a little something about humans – that they could be just as quirky and strange as any other planet or creature. You wanted a break from the real serious stuff, Doctor, so I played on that. After all, female hysteria is a fun topic to learn about, is it not? I made you dream about bringing her to the 18__th__ Century and showing her a female hysteria demonstration. I never imagined it would work so well. I was quite lucky._

Its antennae twitched.

_Then Rose asked you about it later, and you got defensive. Defensiveness is something you try to avoid… You had locked a part of yourself up deep inside so not even you had known it… until today. After some moments of introspection, you realized the truth – and at the same time – what a mistake it was. The part of you that denied you loved Rose also encouraged you to research female hysteria, you see. The danger of it was that you knew she loved you all along – you could see it in her eyes. The part of your physiology that wanted to propagate with her burst forth, and since sex hormones had been circulating in her system most of the day, your body was absolutely thriving with them by the time you got back._

The Doctor remembered that dream. And he remembered what a wonderful time he had with Rose that day… and how strange things went afterward. He remembered inviting her into a physician's office, and inviting her to watch the man give a woman a treatment. It was almost pornographic, but he looked on with the interest of a scientist while Rose's cheeks went red and she gasped and watched in amazement. The woman lying legs spread on the table was manually fondled by the physician until she reached an earth-shattering climax.

Often, Rose would turn to the Doctor to see his reaction, completely dumbfounded that he would have brought them in the first place, but he just nodded back toward the scene, the woman writhing on the physician's table, moaning and screaming.

'Doctor, why did you bring me here?' she had hissed, although she could hardly tear her eyes away from the scene.

The Doctor grinned at her.

'It's funny, isn't it? This type of behaviour between a physician and a patient would be considered completely abnormal in your time, Rose, wouldn't it?'

Rose bit her lip as the woman on the table, her raven black hair once tidy and neat, now a complete mess, rested on the table, her chest heaving with deep shuddering breaths.

'Doctor,' Rose asked again, prodding the Doctor in the side and nodding toward the pair. 'Have you ever done that?'

The Doctor, distracted by the physician who was now explaining to the woman how her depression would soon be cured, turned to her briefly before looking back, 'huh? Sorry? Ever done…? Oh, yes. Of course! Loads of times. I'm quite good at it, too.'

Rose's mouth opened slightly. 'You're joking, right?'

'What? Can you repeat your question? Hmm… you were asking if I've ever consoled a human girl of depression? Yes, I've done that. Well, not _that_, but … hugs aren't bad.'

'Hugs aren't bad…?' the blonde repeated. 'Mind running that by me again, Doctor? I can't help noticing that you're completely distracted. Not enough blood going to your brain if you ask me.'

'Huh? My brain's fine,' the Doctor said, looking Rose up and down. 'You look a bit distracted though, Rose. Did you miss the part where the physician was telling the woman to come back in a few days?'

'What? Uh… I guess…' Rose mumbled. 'I wasn't really paying attention.'

'That's exactly what I was saying!' the Doctor exclaimed brightly, before looking at his watch. 'Anyway, I think you need a little air to clear your head. You want to know something else about this female hysteria thing?'

'Yeah?' Rose said, following him out the door and down the corridor. 'Do tell. What about this female hysteria thing?'

'Well, it's not really a real illness.'

'It's not… sexual dissatisfaction, then?'

'Well, it _can_ be… but it's really an umbrella term for a wide array of different symptoms like depression, mania, mood swings, poor digestion, dizziness, nausea… Some woman who had real serious problems were ignored because it was deemed just to be nothing but this female hysteria business.'

The Doctor continued on in that vain for a while, while all Rose did was just look at his hands - and the Doctor knew why she was doing it, too. He knew that she was probably imagining him treating her like that physician back there. It fit perfectly, after all. A "doctor" and a "girl" with "sexual dissatisfaction" would be "treated" for "female hysteria". He didn't really blame her for thinking those things; she _was_ human, after all.

They sat down to eat some pastries from a bakery on a bench outside, while Rose spaced out, her cheeks still a little flushed, a small smile on her lips. The Doctor laughed, suddenly.

'My, my, Rose. You sure are aroused, aren't you?'

Rose's eyes flashed to the Time Lord.

'_E__xcuse_ _me?_'

'Well, you are, aren't you? You look like that woman on the table back there. But to be perfectly honest, I'll tell you something. It's absolutely nothing to be worried about. Around here, it's totally normal for women to be a bit this way; a bit tipsy from that powerful parasympathetic response. The aftermath is almost like a benzodiazepine. It numbs, it sedates, it lowers feelings of anxiety and nervous distress. As such, the treatment I showed you back there is being performed in many different offices at this very moment.'

'You're such a scientist, Doctor,' Rose observed, hiding her disappointment poorly, not understanding the entirety of what he had just said - the jargon, anyway. She took a deep breath and sighed before taking a big bite out of her pastry. 'You would make a good gynaecologist or sex-ed teacher or something. You don't get your pants in a knot or anything about this kinda stuff.'

He knew she was imagining that scenario between him and her; his hands, her body, the physician's table. But he merely shook his head.

'Nah, I don't think so,' the Doctor said simply. 'Who wants to spend their life studying female genitalia when you can study the wide-expansive universe instead - the millions and billions of creatures wherein?'

'Well,' Rose reasoned, carefully, 'it could be… like a hobby… or something… right? I mean, with the right girl...'

The Doctor didn't say anything, just swallowed the last of the pastry before standing and stretching his back loudly. 'Want to get some ice cream?' He looked down at her and chortled. 'Oh, don't be so serious, Rose! This is fun, isn't it? It's like a holiday!' He grinned charmingly. 'How often do you get to go on a holiday like _this_?'

As he walked along the sidewalk, she followed behind somewhat hesitantly and laughed under her breath.

'Well... this one time, at band camp…'

* * *

_A/N: Back to Rose and the Doctor's sex talks! When was the last time we had this? Chapter 1? It's good fun, isn't it? It's like a holiday! Seriously, this Rose/Doctor section felt like a holiday to me compared to the detail of the previous chapters. Really. It's good to see these two chatting together again. And to think this entire story happens over the course of an entire day! It's absurd. I think my head would probably explode if I had to regurgitate this entire story in one day. It comes as I write. It is turning out different to how I originally anticipated, but we'll see where it goes from here. I hope you continue reading it!_

_Also, I've been trying to update with several chapters at a time, as to give it a little better flow instead of going BAM chapter BAM chapter BAM. This way it goes BAM chapter chapter BAM chapter chapter. Not as bad. I hope the story still holds some integrity this way. I also wanted to do two chapters at a time as to not piss you all of as much as you already probably are (or at the very least frustrated). You'll forgive me though, won't you? Chapters, ahoy!_

_I also hope you got the American Pie reference. Michelle's my favorite character in that series. _


	11. Saved

Human figures burst through the Tardis's door.

Jack was carrying the Doctor over his shoulder, Rose following close behind. They looked determined, but their eyes shared a distinct rawness to them; sadness. Jack placed the Doctor on the ground and the ethereal-Doctor approached the two of them, kneeling in front of his dead body. He watched as Rose pulled the special gloves out from under the control board and put them on, dipping the ends of fabric in the silvery goo and smearing it on his temples. The garden-like gloves were then dunked in the liquid and the fingers run through his hair, massaging it into his scalp. He almost looked old, his hair smeared with that silvery grey. Jack was watching Rose carefully, making sure he didn't accidentally touch the stuff on the floor.

'Rose…' the Doctor muttered, his ghostly eyes suddenly filling with tears at the sight of her.

'Doctor! Doctor, come on, wake up, please!' Rose begged, letting a glob of silvery liquid fall onto his forehead. She ran her gloved hands over his head. 'Come on Doctor, you're a Time Lord! You're supposed to be better than all this death stuff. Come back… please.'

Minutes passed, minutes in silence.

Jack looked up.

'Rose, I don't think he's coming back,.'

Rose sniffed loudly. But the ethereal-Doctor stared to and from the both of them.

'No! Rose! I'll come back!' he yelled, praying his voice would reach them. His eyes filled with tears and he turned to the Beaumont, issuing smoke like it always did, and the blue-thing he knew as the Tardis. The moment in front of him, Rose, his dead body, and Jack, were suddenly frozen in time. A movie on pause. Or so it seemed. 'I can go back… can't I?'

_No. You're not done here. _

It was the Tardis. He couldn't tell by sound, but he knew. The Doctor looked down at the tiny thing. 'Can't you do anything to help? You said our minds were linked… You brought life to the machine, you hold... You have something I don't. Your link to the time-space continuum is stronger… can't you do something?'

The Doctor choked and sniffed, his throat bursting with grief. 'I can't believe it, I'm grieving my own death.' He laughed abruptly, before an immense sorrow grasped his features. He turned to the Beaumont. 'There isn't anything you can do? Anything at all?'

The Beaumont shook its head.

_It is not what I am here to do. I am here to bring the minds of the living from life to death, not the other way around._

The Doctor looked back again at the Tardis.

'Tardis! PLEASE.'

Its antennae flattened against its back like a dog tucking its tail between its legs. _Doctor, I only know one thing I can do. You're dying, and I'm dying, but that you're still physically here, as I am, means that on some level we are alive, even though it doesn't really appear to be so. _

It looked at the frozen image of Rose and Jack kneeling over the Doctor's physical form. His physical body had very pale skin and his hair and forehead glowed dully with silver matter. The fluorescence it once held was gone.

_If there's one thing I know, it's that you can't possibly live again if you're still in love with Rose. _

The Doctor stopped breathing for a second. The Tardis was right. His body's physiological limitations still applied. And Rose. Beautiful, beautiful Rose. In all her human glory. In all _her_ glory. How could he give all that up? It was impossible.

'You can't fall out of love just like that,' the Doctor muttered, shaking his head mournfully. 'That's why I'm here. Love. I'm doomed, then. If there's one thing I know about love, is that it doesn't go away just like that. It's impossible.' He sighed heavily and looked up to the cracked and ruined ceiling. 'I guess I can die peacefully, knowing I did so out of love for another. That's not such a bad way to go, is it?'

There was an edge of uncertainty to his voice. He wished he could stay alive instead.

_Doctor…_

The Tardis nudged his ghostly leg and gave it a small rub.

_Pick me up, Doctor._

The Doctor obliged, and held the thing in his arms.

'Tardis,' he breathed. 'Oh, Tardis. We're going to die together. What a way to go, huh? Two companions together…'

For a moment he glimpsed at Rose and held a sob deep in his chest. Instead, two single tears trickled down his cheeks and off his chin, landing quietly on the Tardis's head, the creature he held so tightly.

_Doctor…_

It was the Tardis again.

_Doctor… I could probably help in some small way… If you wanted to go back to your body… If your body decided to live, maybe… Maybe some part of you could come alive again. But… we need to fix something first. _

It took a deep breath.

_You have to fall out of love with Rose, this we know._

The Doctor nodded sadly, uncertainty slowly pulling him apart by the seams.

_I could do it for you, if you let me._ _You know I exist now. You could hear me, you could… you could let me take control of this. Of this part of you. You would feel no love, your body wouldn't know it, because I would have taken it from you. I could prevent you from feeling love for her ever again._

The Doctor bit his lip.

'What if it happened again? With someone else? What if I decided that I wanted to fall in love again?'

_You know as well as I do, Doctor, that that is very unlikely. But if you wanted to fall in love with another human girl, Doctor, well… you could just ask me. If you're willing to die for her, let go of the entire universe for her. Even let go of all of yourself for her. All of your life. All of your knowledge, all of your memories. Everything you know. Then… sure, I can do it. If you really wanted me to._

The Doctor didn't say anything, just held onto the Tardis like it was a teddy-bear. He swayed on the spot for some minutes, his gaze falling onto Rose before him, frozen in time. Her concern, her love for him… wouldn't matter to him at all?

'Unfreeze it,' the Doctor commanded, and the Beaumont unfroze the scene.

'Doctor…' Rose gasped, taking his hand and holding his palm upward, running a gloved finger down one of the lines, leaving a trail of silver. 'Doctor… Please…'

Jack didn't say anything, just wiped his face with the back of his arm. He looked at the Doctor, very still.

'That Jesus joke doesn't seem so funny now, does it, Jack?' Rose said bluntly, standing and dropping the gloves onto the Doctor's chest. She turned briskly and walked toward the Tardis control panel, observing the cracks as her eyes filled with tears once more. Her shoulders shook for a moment, her eyes screwed up in pain, before she returned and picked up one of the gloves from the unsoiled wrist and slid it over one hand.

'What about it, Tardis? You gonna help us or not?'

She tore a piece of the glass off from the light-pump. It dripped with silver blood.

She glared at the machine. 'You're good at travelling through time, aren't you? Why not go back a little bit and save the Doctor's life? Or are you too chicken for it?'

'Rose… I don't think the Tardis is working…' Jack reminded her. 'And even if it did, it wouldn't be able to help. The Doctor died because he was in love with you and you happened to love him too. Not that I can blame you for that… but physiology doesn't change just like that.'

'What if he evolved or something?'

'Evolution doesn't work like that, Rose.'

'Well, what if he didn't love me?' Rose snapped. 'If he never loved me in the first place he'd never be dead – if I never loved him he wouldn't! He would be alive right now, smiling at us… You wouldn't even be here. You wouldn't have to see this mess...'

Rose dropped the glass shard to the floor and it smashed. Shards scattered across the floor and fell down the metal railing. Suddenly, she realized something. She pushed the glove off, letting it drop to the floor before kicking it away, and pulled a tiny device out of her pocket: the tele-communication device.

'We can go get a defibrillator! That might work, wouldn't it? It might jump start his heart!'

'And once again,' Jack said. 'We don't know how to use one on a Gallifreyan. I mean, don't get me wrong, I want the Doctor to be alive as much as you do, but if we do it wrong… who knows what might happen?'

'Oh, come on, Jack. It's not like we're going to burst some arteries,' Rose said casually. 'Please? It's worth a shot. He'll be like Jesus except without all the crucifixion and stuff.'

'Okay, well,' Jack said, getting to his feet and stretching, before pressing a few buttons on his wrist. 'It's worth a shot. I'll be right back.'

A few minutes later, Jack returned holding a box under his arm.

'I thought two might interfere with the other, so I thought we could deliver two sets of shocks, one at a time, just rearranging the pads in between with the one defibrillator,' he put the little box on the ground and then tore open the Doctor's suit, revealing his clammy chest. He tugged off the top half of his clothes and deposited them at the side. 'You know, since he has two hearts and all.'

Rose watched, looking to Jack, to the defibrillator, and to the telecommunication device in his hand. Something was wrong.

'What year were you just in?' she asked quietly. Jack thought for a moment.

'2010 I think. Or maybe it was 2011,' he checked the watch on his arm. 'No. 2010.'

'And what year are we in now?' Rose blurted out, pulling out her tele-communication device and staring at it. 'Not the 20th Century at all, not at all. The _18__th_!'

Her insides surged with a sudden rush of energy and she jabbed a finger at the device in her hand. 'They're not supposed to do that, are they?'

Jack's eyes widened and his body stiffened.

'No.'

'What did it? What changed it? Someone must have interfered, someone with knowledge of these things. Someone must have made us connect somehow across time like that… but who would know how to do such a thing in the 18th Century? They'd have to have some pretty fancy knowledge on board.'

Then she looked at the Tardis.

'YOU!' she cried.

Her face split into a grin of bewildered amazement and she leapt and danced her way around to the Tardis control panel; a dance overwhelmed with mania. '_You_ did it, Tardis!' She was almost shrieking with glee. 'You did it! You did it, you clever thing, you! You're still alive!'

'What?' Jack demanded, getting to his feet abruptly. 'What are you talking about? I thought we established that the Tardis was dead!'

'_Think_ for a moment, Jack! All its programming, if it were dead, would have cancelled out or stopped working, right? If it were dead that link wouldn't be there, would it? You wouldn't have been able to get the defibrillator… You wouldn't have been able to get here in the first place,' Rose's eyes unfocused for a moment, as if she finally saw and understood something. Something wonderful. The tears that fell down her cheeks now were tears of joy. If the Tardis was alive, the Doctor was too. The odds that it was something else was close to zero…

'Doctor!' she cried with delight, hurrying over to the body on the floor and placing a kiss on its cheek. 'Oh, god, Doctor, you're alive! I know you're there! Can't you hear me? You can hear me, can't you?' She rose to her feet and rushed over to the Tardis. 'You too! You too, Tardis! You can hear me, can't you? You're a clever little thing you are. Clever. Very clever! The Doctor would be so proud of you!'

She kissed what part of the computer monitor wasn't covered in blood before turning to Jack, her face brimming with hope, shining with tears.

'Go get another one of those defibrillator things. We're going to need more than one.'


	12. Volt

When Jack returned to the 18th Century, he threw the second defibrillator box over to Rose. The words Automated External Defibrillator glared at her from the casing.

'We need to do this at the same time, I think,' Rose called over, suddenly looking at the Tardis's light pump. 'I put them on this pump, don't I? It's like a heart… isn't it? It beats. Or… it did…'

Luckily the glass had shattered and allowed reasonable access to the mechanical tubes. She took the pads out and rested them on the Tardis dashboard, connecting them to wires. She looked back at Jack.

'Ready?' he asked. 'On one, press the start button.'

Rose nodded, and Jack started to count down from three. When he reached one, they both jabbed the 'start' button. A pre-recorded voice spoke to them, instructing them through the process. Rose couldn't help smiling at the voice. In such a tense moment there was a semi-cheerful mechanical voice instructing them. She listened intently and unstuck the pads at the right moment, sticking one of the pre-gelled pads to the bottom bit of the pump, and reaching up as far as she could to stick the other one to another bit of tubing.

'I hope it doesn't tell me they're in the wrong place or something.'

Thankfully, it didn't, but Rose realized something else. Metal. The Tardis was a machine, and she was going to administer a high voltage to it. She looked at the floor. Metal railing all the way around the center. Even though there were cracks in the floor, it all managed to connect together. She couldn't even begin to imagine what the connections were like underneath, but she realized in that moment that she was in grave danger. She had to press the button on the defibrillator in order to send a shock through and inadvertently she would be sending it to herself as well. She'd heard the shocks could be fatal.

The ethereal Doctor had realized the same thing and he squeezed the Tardis in his arms out of grief. 'Oh god, Rose… Tell Jack to switch places with you. He can't possibly die. He's as close to invincible as anybody can get. Rose… _Rose!_'

'_Jack!_' Rose cried out. 'Wait a second, Jack!'

'What?' Jack demanded, trying to listen to the AED as it instructed him. 'What's wrong?'

'We're clear, we're all clear,' the machine said, and Jack nodded.

'On one, Rose!'

'But _Jack!_'

'Rose, we have to do this _now_!' Jack shouted. 'They could disappear at any moment and we might lose them!'

'But it's metal!' Rose screamed. 'It's metal, Jack, it's _metal!_ It's going to fucking kill me! Stop your stupid countdown and _listen_ to me!'

'Fine, we'll switch places. But hurry up,' Jack said. 'You know as well as I do that this is a damn close thing.'

They dashed across the room, switching places, but Rose's foot got stuck in a crack in the metal as she crossed the stage. She fell to the floor with a sickening crack.

She screamed and curled her body as her ankle broke and silvery blood made contact with her arms, ankles, and face. It seared and burned, and small wisps of smoke and steam issued from the tissues. Rose shrieked at the top of her lungs, the scent of burning skin filling the air. Deep red burns formed on her arms and the right side of her face and sizzled them away. She pulled her foot out with a jagged click and pulled herself across the floor, smearing her stomach with the stuff in the process, her face slowly melting away, the red marks singing deeper and deeper into her flesh. Tears of pain blurred her vision but she reached the AED on the floor and held a finger over the button. Jack, seeing her damaged arms and ankles continued the countdown in a cautiously steady voice, his eyes wide.

'One…' He took a breath, 'Two…' And another.

The buttons were pressed.

In the following moments Jack, the Doctor, the Tardis, and Rose were shot with several successions of volts. The electrical current shot through the Tardis's delicate and intricate machinery, the complex and uncertain anatomy of the Gallifreyan, the simple and weakened human body of Rose Tyler, and the quite invincible body of Captain Jack Harkness. For Jack, those seconds seemed to last forever. Volt after volt was delivered into the four beings and while Jack was unharmed, he felt the deep burning shudders of electrical shock as his body took each administration.

In those moments, three things happened. The Tardis whirred back to life, a brilliant bright light suddenly filling the room, the Doctor was revived, albeit into a heavy unconscious state, barely alive with just one heart working, and the very human Rose Tyler was killed instantly.

Jack pulled the defibrillator pads off the Tardis and placed them on the box. Since the Tardis had been revived, it had also repaired itself automatically. All instance of blood and crack had vanished, even that in the Doctor's hair and on his clothes. He approached Rose's mangled form on the ground and the Time Lord's breathing body.

He adjusted the defibrillator pads on the Doctor's chest, moving them into a symmetrically opposite arrangement before shooting volts through his body once more. The Doctor's eyes opened slowly and he coughed loudly, both hearts now working and adjusting their rhythm automatically. Jack went to roll him into a recovery position but the Doctor ripped the pads off his chest and pushed him away.

'No, no, none of that. I'm a Time Lord, I don't need that human recovery position thing,' the Doctor told him, his eyes darting around the room before falling on Rose. He knew she had been burned horrifically, but… He quickly pulled his clothes back on, leaving the buttons undone, before approaching the girl.

He took her pulse. Nothing. He rolled Rose over onto her back.

'I think I'll leave the revival up to you, Doctor. You know how to use one of these, right?' Jack asked, nudging the AED toward the Doctor with his foot and wincing at Rose's appearance. 'You might want to move her ankle off the metal before you do anything, though. I'm not sure the Tardis would appreciate being shocked a second time.'

The Doctor stared up at the Tardis and then looked down at Rose's disfigured body. Half her face had burned away. Her right eyeball bulged horribly, almost falling out of her head, part of her hair and scalp had been fried, and bone protruded from her face from the lacking skin. Her arms were just as bad, if not worse. Her abdomen… Her uterus was completely defiled, and her were intestines charred and raw with speckled blood. Her right foot was twisted at an unnatural angle and her ankles hung with dead skin. The Doctor observed in quiet horror, not daring to look away.

Should he revive her? The pain and humiliation she would experience would be excruciating. His eyes filled with tears. Real, solid, physical tears. He was alive, but at the expense of hers. It was unfair. The very least he could do was repay the favor… whatever that would be to her like this. He decided, after some moments, that if she wanted to kill herself after he revived her, that that was her choice.

He pulled the hem of her pants so it would drag her leg with her, dragging her foot off the metal railing. The Doctor then pulled off the upper half of her clothing and took off her bra, placing them at the side. The last time he had seen her breasts he had been raping her... it was an inappropriate truth, but a lot of things were nowadays. He pressed the button on the machine and attached the pads to Rose's chest as indicated by the AED.

His insides felt empty as he regained life to the now-deformed human being. As her eyes blinked and squinted shut, she let out a piteous cry, a cry for help, a desperate cry. She was in so much pain that it was all she could do to notify the Doctor of her pain. Her eyes unfocused and she withdrew both mentally and emotionally. Physical pain was all she could feel right now. No time for thank-yous or I-hate-yous from her just yet. And what would her mother, Jackie, think?

Abruptly, the Doctor thought of something so simple and brilliant, he wondered why he hadn't thought of it before. He got to his feet and approached the Tardis control panel, fiddling with the controls. He typed.

"If you heard that in my head just now, you know what to do."

The Tardis whirred and hummed like it always did, arriving at the destination he desired. He had heard of this place a couple of times but had never visited. It was a place in the Universe where plastic surgery had been reborn into something new and terrible. Stem cell research had evolved into something more enduring in this part of the Universe. He didn't think the normal kind would quite cut it, it wasn't a normal injury, and the repairs had to be flawless.

He stepped out of the Tardis into a long corridor with deep blue floors and walls.

As he walked down the corridor, he went passed people who had taken this brand of plastic surgery to their advantage, fashioning giant wings out of scapula removal, or fashioning massive curling horns out of unnatural skull protrusions. A woman was even being pushed down past him in a wheelchair, a glamorous mermaid tail in place of legs and hips. But there were other things too that passed, like a smaller breed tyrannosaurus rex having acquired human arms. Perhaps they were more practical than their tiny stumpy ones, he didn't really know, but he was glad that operations to acquire multiple genitalia would be kept hidden and out of sight. Or so he hoped.

This hospital was held in high regard all over the Universe. Stem cells could be donated from others as well as acquired from the patient's own body and relocated to repair or enhance body parts. The cells could then be fed a special drug that sped growth and cell-replication naturally. It would make them multiply at a quicker rate, cutting down operation time by months, or even years in some cases. The drug, the Doctor knew, was some kind of derivative of thyroid hormones. The drug was available in different types and could be administered depending on the species of the cell in question. This was how they quickly restored flesh to be as exact and organic as possible.

The Doctor arrived at the end of the corridor and pressed a button on the elevator. As he ascended in the elevator, he became aware that it traveled through a glass tube. Outside the tube was a huge aquarium, and it was then he realized the facility was located under the water. The walls weren't blue after all; it was just the water outside making the glass appear that way. Sharks, sting-rays, elephopods, jaunte-fish and teething shells lived in peace together in the marvelous tank. He watched a turtle the size of a human paddling pool swim to hover above large glittering coral below. With a beep, the Doctor arrived at the eighth floor. He left the elevator to arrive at the Inquiry Desk.


	13. Mosquitoes

The Repair Specialists were a colony of brainy mosquitoes. He didn't know how exactly they had come to evolve to acquire such intelligence, but had heard it had to do with a chance-absorption and adaption of human stem cell from an abortionist clinic somewhere. It was a very small chance, and a mistake on the human's part not to sterilize the clinic efficiently, but the little mosquito had managed to absorb the information within the DNA when it absorbed the microscopic contents and consciously choose what parts of the DNA it would merge with its own.

The Doctor had a feeling there was something more to it but had no idea what. The mosquitoes kept their secret, well, a secret. Perhaps it was best this way too. But since then, mosquitoes had evolved to have brains even more powerful than that of 20th century humans. They could absorb the blood of a creature and analyse its contents just like a computer. They were very efficient at performing surgery due to the easy removal of blood and ability to replace that blood in the creature quite selectively. Their little nozzles had become quite strong and able to do this and the circulation of disease was well controlled. Their little nozzles had the sharpness of a blade, so they could cut properly as well. The only side effect of having surgery by mosquitoes is that a large number of mosquito bites would appear on the skin post-surgery and they would itch, just like mosquito bites normally do. Some things just never changed, but the field of plastic and reparative surgery was changed forever.

A mosquito established a telepathic link between the Doctor and it.

'May I help you, zir?' it buzzed in his head.

'Certainly,' the Doctor said, unsure where the bug was behind the desk so speaking to an aquarium wall instead. He watched a stingray making faces at him as he addressed the mosquito. 'I have a human girl who needs reconstructive surgery due to Tardis blood injuries and a Time Lord interested in reconstructing his genetic material to readily and specially accept human sex hormones as well as adapting his sex cells to be able to reproduce with a human being.'

The mosquito was a quick thinker.

'Tardiz blood, huh? We haven't had any Tardiz blood cazez in a long time,' it said. 'We can fix your girl. But we do not do any genetic reconztruction. That iz againzt our moral code.'

'And what's this moral code of yours? Why won't you do it?'

'My, my, zir, we are not Godz, here,' the mosquito said. 'I am afraid we cannot help you in thiz manner. Can you imagine what the Univerze would be like if we performed thiz type of zurgery? Natural evolution would ceaze to exizt. The natural procezz of thingz would ceaze to exizt. Do you know how many bribez and threatz we've had? Ever since the firzt time we performed this zurgery on ourselvez, we decided never to do it again. Not out of zelfizhnezz, but out of respect for natural growth. We decided it would be bezt. In return for our zelfizhnezz we offer new zurgery to the Univerze and living thingz in it. No more than that. No more than that. Reproduction would ceaze to be the same, and the Univerze az we know it would ceaze to exizt. It could deztroy thouzands. We will change apperance, but we will not change being. We do not truzt outziders. We do not truzt their wantz. We cannot. They change. We can help your girl though. Regrow her cellz. We can do that.'

The Doctor nodded and sighed, knowing they had an excellent point. He focused, once again, on Rose. 'Very well, then. May I have some people down to help her? Is there anybody who knows how to fix fractures, dislocations, or breaks? I'm afraid she may have broken her ankle.'

'We are all zpecialized in this manner,' the mosquito chipped. 'We'll be down in a moment. Give me your location, we will come.'

'Sure,' the Doctor said. 'Just downstairs at the end of the corridor. Fifth floor. Anyway, I was wondering why when you speak telepathically you speak 's's as 'z's. Surely it's not necessary?'

'We're mozquitoez,' the mosquito explained telepathically. 'What do you expect?'

* * *

Rose was carried off the floor of the Tardis by thousands and thousands of mosquitoes, all telepathically linked in a manner where they could manipulate her body in all the right ways and not do damage. Jack watched, gobsmacked.

'Mosquitoes? Are you kidding?'

'Don't say that,' the Doctor cautioned Jack softly, 'you might offend them.'

As Rose was being lifted onto the stretcher, the Doctor caught her undamaged gaze. It was a pleading look, a desperate look. It said: Don't leave me.

'Leave it up to uz,' the mosquitoes buzzed in unison as the stretcher was pushed past the Doctor. 'Your little lady will be back to normal in no time.'

But the Doctor followed them out of the Tardis, following them side-by-side.

'Zir, thiz iz not necezzary. We will return her to you when we are finizhed.'

'I just want to be near her so she's not scared. She's never been here before,' the Doctor said hurriedly, before turning back to the Tardis. 'Jack, give back my sonic screwdriver and key. Then you can go home if you like.'

Jack rushed out of the time machine, shutting the door behind him, and handed the Doctor his things.

'I'll give back your stuff but there's no way in hell I'm not going home - not yet. I'm going to stay and watch the action. Besides…' Jack muttered, lowering his voice. '… I want to ask you something.'

He grabbed the Doctor's arm and the Doctor stopped, motioning to the mosquitoes that he'd be with them in a moment.

'Are you sure this is the time?'

'A good a time as any,' Jack said, before lowering his voice. 'I just wanted to ask…' He took a deep breath. 'Do you still love Rose?'

'No,' the Doctor said plainly. 'How is it you think I'm still alive right now?'

'I thought maybe you had evolved…' Jack muttered. 'You know?'

'The Gallifreyan's focus on mental and emotional attachment for intellectual growth placed a much lesser emphasis on physical growth – mainly because they already had it down. DNA mutations of the type you're thinking of are extremely, extremely rare. And I am no exception.'

'Oh, okay. And – there was something else, Doctor.'

'What would that be?'

'Welcome back.'

The Doctor smiled weakly.

'I don't know what you're so sad about,' Jack said, noticing his forlorn expression, 'I mean, everything's going to be okay. You're alive, Rose is alive, I'm alive, the Tardis is alive… I don't know what more you want.'

The Time Lord sighed and looked out the glass into the deep aquarium, watching some dolphins swimming past.

'Rose figured something out about the Tardis that I couldn't. She proved to be everything I hoped her to be. She even sacrificed her own life to save my own… You don't know what that means to me. That we all came out of this alive is one thing, but whether we came out whole is another. I feel empty and lost. I feel like I've lost a part of me. I don't feel heartbroken, but I feel empty. I feel alone. It is the life of the Time Lord. Being in love made everything better for a while, but, as fate has it, it also brought out my own destruction. I only hope that one day, Rose will meet a man who will be able to be everything to her as she was to me. I really loved that girl. I really did. But now… it's over. Right now, all I want to see is her face. I want to see her pretty little smile,' the Doctor's face was bleak, his insides contorted with sorrow. 'I am a Time Lord, and I will continue to be alone. Unless I find a Gallifreyan female like her, or better, then this world will continue to be much darker than it needs to be. From my knowledge, Gallifreyans are extinct… save a select few – but I've met them all! We're not compatible.'

The Doctor sighed again.

'Can't you use the Tardis to go to Gallifrey? You could meet a Gallifreyan there, couldn't you?'

'Nah,' the Doctor said. 'There's a Time Lock.'

Jack nodded dully. The two turned and followed after the stretcher that was nearing the elevator.

'Just one more question…'

'Captain Jack Harkness, you certainly have a lot of those, don't you?'

Jack nodded and grinned sheepishly before his query.

'So tell me why you're so obsessed with human beings - aren't you putting yourself at risk of dying with all those human sex hormones flying around? I mean, the one second you fall in love and that someone releases sex hormones...'

'Yes, Gallifreyan physiology is kind of special, isn't it? The reason why I'm not dead right now is because the Tardis and I made a pact before we came back here. The Tardis agreed to stop me from falling in love and having feelings for humans, namely Rose. None of this falling back in love nonsense when the Tardis has a hold on me, no, sir!' the Doctor laughed and perked up. 'As to why I'm so obsessed with humans, I'm surprised you haven't figured it out already.'

'Well… that's obviously a negative on my part.'

'You have to promise not to repeat this information,' the Doctor said, raising his eyebrows at Jack. 'To anyone.' The Captain nodded.

'Cross my heart and hope to die,' he laughed.

'All righty then,' the Doctor said, stopping before the elevator. 'Well, the truth is… that Gallifreyans are the evolved form of the human race.'

Jack was stunned.

The Doctor nodded knowingly and said a matter-of-factly,

'I'm just preserving my own species. You didn't think the anatomical similarities we shared were just a coincidence, did you? Didn't you ever wonder why Earth was always such a big target for species like the Daleks; the Time Lord and Gallifreyan's main enemies in the Time War?'

Jack didn't answer, it was obvious the answer was 'no'.

'Well, now you know… But don't tell anyone! The future already knows it so it would be no good if the past did. One big massive headache if you ask me. Though, actually, I think the Daleks need to get it into their heads that they're not actually going to help themselves trying to take over Earth. The events have already been happening, it just involves a lot of going back and forth and… you know what happens in the end. Or I could. Come to think of it, because of that Time Lock I probably couldn't.'

'Ugh… don't tell me about time travel.' Jack murmured, finally hopping in the elevator closely followed by the Doctor. 'Seriously. Stop. You're giving me a headache.'

The Doctor chortled as the elevator doors closed and he felt Rose's hand touch his from her spot on the stretcher. As the aquarium creatures wafted past the glass and the mosquitoes hummed delicately, he looked down at the deformed creature named Rose Tyler and gave her hand a small squeeze. Her smile, though pained and misshapen, was just as beautiful as ever. But a spark was missing. He knew he should probably smile back at her, but seeing her horrific wounds was enough to make even the most hard-stomached nauseous.

The Doctor looked into her face and pretended, for a moment, that he was human. As tears welled in his eyes, he smiled at the girl and touched the undamaged side of her face, stroking it gently. He breathed deeply into his human lungs and felt his human heart pump arhythmically. He felt the human wallows of his heart ache with sympathy and hurt for the ugly yet beautiful creature and the waves of joy wash over him; waves telling him that everything was going to be okay and everything would soon be back to normal.

He felt his human body wanting to love her with all his heart and soul, wanting to feel the passion and share the loves, pains and joys of the Universe with the injured girl before him. Wanting to combine with her as a single functional unit, wanting to be with her in every way possible, every way impossible. But then he felt the Gallifreyan within him roar with anger and disdain, and the illusion disappeared.

* * *

_A/N: End of chapter._

_I was considering ending the story here, but I think I'll write maybe one or two more chapters. The story's almost over. I just think I need to give Rose and the Doctor one more moment together, maybe when Rose is all fixed up. Anyway, let me know what you like or don't like - or don't do anything, no biggie. This story has been a real pleasure to write. I'm back at school now so I've been and will be a bit busier than before, and I'm participating in NaNoWriMo for the first time ever this year, I'm going to write a science fiction story. I hope I do well, I'm a bit terrified to be perfectly honest. I have this idea in my head for a story, but I think I might be putting too much pressure on myself to write a 50,000 word fully comprehensible novel in a month. If it is okay I wouldn't mind publishing it, once I've edited it and stuff after November. Anyway, blahblahblah. This Author's Note is over, I hope you enjoy the final moments of the story... I encourage you to read some of the other Doctor Who stories I've written if you've enjoyed this one, Perfect World coming to mind first - a story I wrote years ago._

_Anyway, it's been a pleasure having you readers and I hope to see you through to the end of this one!_


	14. Human

The mosquitoes had Rose connected to an IV drip containing nutrients, minerals, and water to supply her cells with the fuel necessary to grow efficiently. They also attached her to a heavy sedative and painkiller before they started surgery, the small insects flying around the room at a very fast speed. They fixed her ankle before commencing the rest of the reconstruction, the bone repair taking 10 minutes at most. The Doctor and Captain were ushered out into the corridor, instructed to watch from a glass window if they will. Apparently there was a café on the second floor if they got hungry and a resting room on the third. The entire reconstructive procedure would take at least 9 hours.

'So,' Jack began. 'I'm starving! Want to get something to eat?'

The Doctor looked at Rose on the table, black dots darting across the room and masking her burns. 'Yeah, I would, actually… Haven't eaten since this morning.'

'Neither,' Jack commented, suddenly nodding at the IV drip attached to the girl. 'Rose is pretty lucky then, huh?'

The Doctor shrugged, feeling a little melancholy, 'I suppose so.'

* * *

The café served a wide-variety of food served by the same vampiric mosquitoes. Those insects seemed to run the place. As Jack and the Doctor sat at a table by the wall they looked at the other tables with curiosity. Creatures of all shapes and sizes had come to visit the hospital.

The Doctor observed a pure white rabbit with razor sharp teeth tearing at raw meat.

'Rabbits aren't normally carnivorous, are they?' Jack asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

'Nope.'

They looked around at the other species getting their final bites to eat before departing.

'How do the mosquitoes communicate with all of them? I guess they'd use telepathy or something, right?'

'Right…' the Doctor muttered, opening his menu. It was filled with food for all creature types; meals ranging from grubs to special grass combos to insect stew and sugar lumps. There was also a human section and the Doctor observed this one contently. 'I think I might have the lentil pizza.'

Jack's mouth twitched. 'They certainly know how to mix things up.'

'Apparently the pizza base is made with quinoa grain,' the Doctor read. 'Its toppings include lentils, spinach greens, spices and yoghurt. Meat seems to be fairly scarce on this part menu for some reason. Perhaps they favour humans eating vegetarian diets.'

'I don't think so,' Jack said, looking to another page of the menu. 'There's a massive meat menu here, "cooked to desire with selected spices - sides to add" and look, they've even got human meat!'

Jack pointed to a page where human flesh was specified and the Doctor laughed.

'They must import from Canahu!' he explained brightly. 'It's a planet of humans whose main protein source includes human meat. Cannibals from Earth migrated to the planet in the big splitting period of 4085 and started their own culture there. I went there once. Human meat is similar to turkey and chicken meat in its lightness and texture though it tastes a little like pork.'

Jack looked dumbfounded.

'How could you eat human?'

'It's a part of enjoying the culture, Jack,' the Doctor explained simply. 'I've tried all sorts of things. It's quite funny; actually, the cannibals there raised humans specifically for consumption – quite similar to how humans on Earth raise animals for consumption. They even milk the females. The milk is rather nice. A lot better suited for human consumption than cow or goat milk – simply because of its origin.'

For a split second the Doctor remembered the time he spent with the pregnant prostitute in England. He couldn't even remember her name… he just remembered the name "Rose" and the pleasing delusion that went with it. He picked up the spoon on the table and turned it in his hands, considering human life again for a small moment. The mosquito he had talked to earlier seemed so certain… was it really true that none of these mosquitoes would turn him into something capable of living a human life? They couldn't turn him into a human being?

All of a sudden, a mosquito flew onto the table and bit his hand.

The Doctor attempted to brush it away but instead got another sharp sting; mosquitoes sure knew how to pack a punch nowadays.

'What was that for?' he asked it.

'What?' Jack asked, unaware of what had happened. The Doctor shook his head and looked at the insect that had now flown onto the spoon in front of him.

'None allowed, zir. None allowed!' it buzzed angrily through telepathic speak. The Doctor's eyes narrowed and he gave the spoon a wave. The mosquito flew off it and flew around his head. 'None allowed, zir! Another mosquito zpoke to you earlier about thiz. None allowed! If you prezz the izzue we will proceed to zend an attack at you and azk you to leave.'

The Doctor wasn't sure he fancied being bitten by thousands of powerful mosquitoes at once, but underneath his frustration was a deep concern. He thought to the bug, knowing it would hear him.

_Look, I'm probably the only Time Lord alive left on this planet and I would like to be in love with a human girl - my love has been temporarily suppressed. If you know anything about Gallifreyans you'll know just how rare this type of affection is and how vital it is to the species' survival! As far as I'm concerned I know all the Gallifreyans alive and around at the moment – all I ever can meet, because there's a Time Lock over Gallifrey – and I'm not compatible with them. There's just no… _hope_ for me and my species at this point in time, so I'm asking you if you would be willing to turn me into a human being. I don't know how much longer I'm going to live, but at least if I were human I could end it happily and even start a family. A human family._

The mosquito landed on his spoon again and Jack was watching in bemusement. The Doctor was steady.

'Thiz iz the thing with you people!' the mosquito buzzed angrily in its mind, resuming its flight around his head. 'No respect for the natural courze of thingz at all!'

_But I would be helping prolong life by having children; I would be simultaneously giving myself advantage and disadvantage by shortening my life._

'You are Time Lord! God would not want you to be human!'

_Why? Why not? Why doesn't God want me to be a human being? That I had the idea in the first place and want to be human in the first place is a sign for me to be to be so! I want to be human, so why won't you let me? This isn't fair!_

'Life iz not alwayz fair, Time Lord. You zhould know that more than anybody.'

_But why make it more difficult than it already is?_

'You may not realize it, Time Lord, but we've already zaved the livez of many.'

_No need to be all high and mighty about it._

'My point is that zome thingz aren't meant to be.'

_But who are you to decide that? Who are you to decide anything for other people? You should make a review of this policy of yours. It's selfish and unfair._

'You're crying, zir.'

_No I'm not!_

But he was. Tears of anger were welling in his eyes. It wasn't fair. Why did he always have to be alone?

The mosquito flew onto his face and stuck its nozzle into the tears that escaped his eyes, sucking the liquid into its body. The Doctor thought it was a strange custom, but oddly comforting at the same time.

'Drink the tearz of otherz and you will know their pain, but drink their blood and you will know their zoul,' the mosquito chipped, flying in front of his face and landing on his hand. 'May I take your blood?'

* * *

When Jack and the Doctor had eaten they thanked the mosquito and moved to the third floor to sleep. The rooms were like motel rooms and the beds were nicely arranged so when the Doctor lay on his, he instantly fell asleep.

He encountered the Tardis creature in his dreams, the ghostly wisp of a creature sitting by his bed telling him stories of his Gallifreyan childhood. Then the dream descended into something rather unusual and unexpected.

He dreamt he was courting a large mosquito when the insect bit his head off. When he woke up, he was very confused until he realized that head biting was behaviour typical to the hungry female praying mantis rather than mosquitoes. Praying mantises, the Doctor recalled, was said to be a symbol of meditation and contemplativeness, sometimes said to be representative of those on a spiritual path. He thought it was a rather funny thing considering the mosquitoes's religiousness. But then he also noted something else. Praying mantises didn't always perform cannibalism on their male partners, usually only when they were hungry, and during mating. Gallifreyans relied quite heavily on their nervous system for the sex drive while the praying mantis did not and the male mantis could copulate even after its head had been devoured - often more successfully than with its head on.

The Doctor wasn't really sure what the dream meant. It seemed to be indicating that by courting with the mosquito – the mosquitoes ideals - that he was killing himself in the process, specifically his mind, while somehow making copulation successful even though he wasn't a mosquito. It didn't make much sense to him.

He then noticed that Jack was missing and had left a note on his bed. The Doctor read it.

"Saw Rose. She's all better. I hope you don't mind but I think I'll head home, Torchwood gets pretty busy, you know. It was good seeing you, Doctor, and I'll keep your secret safe. - Harkness"

The Doctor put the note in his pocket and walked out the room, heading to the eighth floor. As he watched the sea creatures float past the elevator window, he thought of the dream and what it might mean. But then he wondered what he was going to say to Rose when he finally saw her. And then he realized something concerning his connection with the Tardis and the hold it had on his subconscious.

He sent out a prayer to the machine, and immediately felt his body change. As he walked down the corridor, light seeped into his cells and transformed them, changing his body structure from the inside out. He felt his body tearing his circulation system apart and replacing it with new arrangements. His muscles jerked and his skin tingled as his nervous system rewired. After a moment of breathlessness and muscular tension, his body relaxed completely. He flexed an arm and touched his neck. On the outside, it looked like nothing had changed at all, but the Doctor knew better. His fingers found the pulse in his neck and felt the rush of blood from the single heart pumping glucose throughout his body.

He took a deep breath and filled his new lungs.

He had turned into a human being.


	15. Moments

The Doctor felt the Tardis speaking to him telepathically.

_I can only uphold this transformation for 24 hours at most. This has restricted my own transmogrification abilities. Doctor, I hope you know what you're doing._

The Doctor marvelled at his human body, tears welling in his eyes as he thought to the machine.

_The mosquitoes wouldn't have let me do it. They're all linked telepathically - any one that moves out of practice could be killed instantly. It's how they keep things in line._

The Doctor knew his new human body was considerably weaker than his Gallifreyan counterpart, but he knew what to do.

_Tardis._

He waited for the machine's reply.

_Yes, Doctor?_

The Doctor smiled and stopped outside the door to Rose's room.

_You can release your hold on my unconscious mind, the part of me that is in love with the human girl. You can stop it. Let me feel it. For the 24 hours you can keep me human, make me love her. Please._

There was a pause, the implications of a sigh.

_Very well, Doctor._

The Doctor felt the telepathic connection disconnect, but not before he felt the hidden stirrings of his heart tear loose. He was overwhelmed by the strong feelings of love for the girl, as well as a mingling sexual arousal. He couldn't help grinning at his new body's reaction. Typical human bodies. The line between sex and love was a lot more … mangled. The Doctor suddenly realized it meant he could feel attracted to more than one person at once, or even experience paraphillia. He laughed under his breath and shook those thoughts out of his head. There was no time for that type of thing. This was for Rose. It was for Rose, his human lover. And he could finally love her like a human would.

He knocked on the door, his insides bursting with glee.

'Come in. The door's unlocked, you know.'

He hadn't heard her sound so peaceful in a long time. At least, it felt like a long time. Truth is it was only the previous day. The Doctor pressed open the door and saw Rose lying propped up in her bed. He was pleased to see the surgery was flawless and her skin's integrity was very much back to normal. He approached her and sat on her bed, taking her hand in his.

When he looked at her, he was surprised to see her face filled with confusion as she felt his hand.

'Are you sick? Do you have hypothermia?'

The Doctor remembered that humans had lower core temperatures than Gallifreyans. The metabolism of a Gallifreyan was a lot higher, mainly because it needed to be – and also mainly because it could cope with the physical stress.

'No. I'm fine, Rose.'

He moved his hand out of hers and touched her face, stroking it with the palm of his hand, his fingers brushing through the blonde locks. She had evidently had some time to brush her hair that morning.

Rose's voice was suddenly croaky.

'What are you doing?' She tensed away from his affectionate movements. 'You can't still be in love with me, you can't.'

'I am.'

'But you can't! You'll die!'

She threw herself off the bed and dropped to the floor with a smack. A couple of goldfish greeted her from behind the glass floor, but she scrambled to her feet and pressed herself against the wall.

'Get out of here, Doctor. Right now, I mean it.' But when the Doctor approached her again, his face filled with pity, she ducked under him and returned by the bed. 'No, stop –'

'Rose, calm –'

'Get away from me!'

She was panting, a fresh sheen of sweat appearing on her forehead. The Doctor frowned.

'Rose, are you afraid of me because of what I did to you yesterday?'

'I…' Rose began, her eyes looking everywhere but his face, avoiding the question. 'I don't want you to die again. You can't stay here. You have to get away from me. My hormones will fuck you up.'

'Rose, I'm human.'

She tugged at the hem of her hospital gown, trying to hide her bare legs.

'Rose, listen to me.' The Doctor took a step forward, eyeing her. She was twitching and seemed fairly neurotic. 'Rose. When I died, something changed between the Tardis and I. I found that with its help, I could fall out of love with you. I tried convincing a little mosquito earlier to turn me into a human being, but they have a very strict moral code… and I realized this morning that the Tardis had access to a brilliant power and… and I… I asked it to change me… And it… Rose, why are you crying?'

Sobs escaped the poor girl and she wiped her face and choked and shuddered into her arm, her body shaking uncontrollably.

'You're lying to me, aren't you? You're not really human… are you? You're just trying to trick me.'

'Rose, when have I ever tricked you into anything? When have I ever lied to you?' the Doctor asked, bewildered by her behaviour. 'I'm telling the truth, I don't know why you don't believe me.'

But the girl just sobbed even harder. Mosquitoes suddenly flooded the room and checked her over, taking her blood and checking her temperature, drinking the tears leaking from her eyes. The mosquitoes then spoke to the Doctor.

'Your prezence is upzetting the patient.'

'It's not my fault!' the Doctor protested. 'I mean – I'm not doing it on purpose! If you give us a few moments, I can explain.'

A mosquito suddenly pricked his skin and there was an unpleasant silence. The mosquitoes suddenly buzzed even louder, confusion and anger filling their drones.

'You were Time Lord, what happened to Time Lord blood?'

Rose stopped crying, her puffy eyes observing the creatures before her.

'My time machine helped me change... It was none of you, I assure you.'

The mosquitoes all gave a buzz of disapproval at his decision and decided to leave the room, opening the door and shutting it behind them with amazing group synchronicity. Silence filled the hospital room. It was a quick examination.

'You're not lying?' she murmured softly.

'No,' the Doctor muttered. 'No. I'm not. I turned human for you, Rose. I did it for you. Don't worry, I have no choice but to change back in 24 hours, but you know what this means? It means we can spend time together – as two humans, _together_. What do you think?'

Rose didn't know what to say, trapped in her own thoughts.

'It's okay, you can think about it for awhile,' the Doctor said, and he approached her, circling the table in the middle of the room to find her on the other side. Her body tensed instinctively as he came nearer, and she refused to look at him. He peered at her, pained. 'God, Rose, you're traumatized.'

'I'm… fine…' she glanced at him. 'Please, don't touch me.'

'Rose, would you come here for a sec,' The Doctor queried. 'We need to talk.'

He sat down on the bed, the mattress seeping underneath him. He patted a spot next to him. Rose slowly and carefully made her way to him, sitting on the bed at the spot furthest away from him.

'I never thought I would feel this way about anyone before,' Rose said softly, daring to peek toward the man. 'I love you, you know?'

The Doctor nodded. 'And I love you, too.'

Rose flinched violently at the words, and then gasped. 'Oh, I'm sorry.'

'Rose, please tell me what is bothering you so much. I mean, it's evident you're emotionally damaged from an event… and I think it is related to me somehow because Jack left me a note saying you were fine. He would have let me know if you were twitchy the way you are now. I would like to understand what you're thinking, Rose. How do you feel around me, now?'

'Are you really human?'

'Still doubt me? Doubt even the mosquitoes?'

Rose nodded.

'I want to show you. Don't be alarmed, but I am going to come near to you. I won't hurt you, I promise. I just want you to become aware of my heartbeat. Do you understand?' Rose nodded again, and the Doctor scooted to the end of the bed, next to her. 'Would you prefer to feel my pulse with your fingers, or would you rather put your head against my chest to listen?'

As Rose pressed her head against his chest, the Doctor didn't dare wrap his arms around her… but as Rose pressed her ear to him, he felt his heart race and his face flush. God, these human feelings were new to him. He cleared his throat, hoping to clear the feelings away as a result, but he couldn't. He tried to hold the sexual excitement under control, but his breath became haggard and his head span. Rose pulled her ear away and looked at him in disgust.

'Sorry,' the Doctor apologized sincerely but sheepishly. 'I'm not used to being in a human body.'

Rose was still silent.

'You believe me now, though, don't you?'

'Yeah.'

There was a long pause.

'Rose, please tell me what I can do to help you. Is it from your injuries, or from my sexual advances on you yesterday, or both? Or something else?' The Doctor asked. 'I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, but we have to fix this.'

'Why do we? I could just go back home and you could travel alone and I wouldn't have to do anything about it.'

'Even if you did that, which I don't think you really want to do, what would happen the next time you became intimate with somebody? Do you think you would be okay being touched again? Do you really think you would be okay?'

'No…' Rose sniffed mournfully before admitting. 'Doctor, I saw your video and I know it wasn't exactly your fault, but you… you still _hurt_ me.'

'I understand. I know.'

'Do you? You've never been raped before, have you? No such thing as rape in a Time Lord's world,' she turned to him and eyed him like a hawk. 'Doctor, I wish I could be okay with you right now, but I'm not. I need some time by myself... to think, you know?'

The Doctor felt his insides turning. The pain of her rejection wouldn't have been nearly as harsh if he was a Time Lord again.

'I- I understand,' the Doctor stammered. 'I'll… When do you want me to come back?'

'Give me a few hours. You can stroll right in after the hours are up, just… give me some time by myself, please.'

'Okay,' the Doctor got to his feet and neared the door. He took a deep breath. 'I just wanted to say before I go… I mean… I never really thanked you, Rose… for saving my life.'

Rose just looked at him and smiled faintly.

'I'll talk to you later, Doctor.'

The silence numbed his senses.

He turned and closed the door behind him.


	16. Dreams

When the Doctor strode in several hours later Rose was asleep in her bed, snoozing peacefully. The Doctor had gotten some lunch at the café (some more of that delicious lentil pizza) and when he went to speak to a few of the creatures, he realized they couldn't speak English very well - if at all. This was terribly confusing until the Doctor realized that the Tardis's abilities had been hindered due to its hold on his new body. He then realized the Tardis probably couldn't do very much at all, let alone time travel. He sighed and sat next to Rose's hospital bed.

After a few minutes her eyes opened and she smiled wearily at the Doctor.

'What time is it? How long was I out?'

'I don't know, but your hours are definitely up, that's for sure.'

Rose yawned and stretched and sat up in her bed, patting a spot next to her. As the Doctor moved from the chair to the bed Rose leaned over him and touched his thigh, sending spikes of heat up his body. His body tensed for a moment, amazed at the feeling, his thoughts slowly being penetrated by thoughts of sex and romantic enterprise.

'Rose… what are you doing?' he breathed.

'You said you were human now, right?'

She peered at him with her big eyes and the Doctor was amazed at how comfortable she suddenly seemed around him. He made a move to touch her, wrapping his arm around his waist, but Rose stiffened and pushed his arm away.

She grinned sheepishly. 'Sorry, not used to being touched by you yet. I'll tell you when I'm ready.'

'But we haven't even talked yet,' the Doctor said, his voice slowly increasing to a gasp as Rose ran her hand up his thigh and squeezed him. The Doctor realized that his Gallifreyan libido had somewhat translated to his human form, as he came to the conclusion that this amount of feeling was not normal for a human male.

'Am I okay to you?' The Doctor asked suddenly, his eyes droopy, struggling to hold onto his intelligence. 'I mean… is this… _normal_?'

'Normal? What do you mean?' Rose asked, crawling over and running her hands through his hair. 'You're going to have to be less vague than that, Doctor.'

The Doctor's breath was ragged. 'I feel… is this normal? I worry some degree of the .. uh.. intensity of the Gallifreyan libido may have passed on to my human form… I feel like I'm about to pass out.'

Rose laughed loudly. The sound was like music to his ears, though he didn't really understand what was so funny.

'Yeah, that's normal. It means you really like me and you find my advances sexually stimulating. Totally normal and human.'

'Weird…' the Doctor murmured, trying to keep his body steady and keep himself from touching her out of instinct. 'I'm not used to having this… degree of control.'

'Which is ironic, in a way,' Rose muttered, her breath hot on his cheek. She kissed his cheek-bone. 'Anyway, shh… Doctor. _Just enjoy it_.'

She kissed him on the mouth, a moan escaping from the Doctor's throat as she did so. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs around the Doctor's hips. The Doctor noticed she wasn't wearing anything underneath the white hospital gown and his body shuddered at the heat emanating from her. It was like two sticks of fire had joined to create one giant flame, encouraging the primal force emanating from within. The Doctor felt her hips grinding against his and the increasing pressure was making him loose touch with reality. He wanted to touch her so badly, but all he could do was hold himself up. It was becoming uncomfortable. He let his arms lower himself so he was lying on the bed instead. Rose kissed him once more, her hair tickling his neck, and then proceeded to raise herself up to remove her hospital gown, a small smile spreading across her face...

* * *

The Doctor had fallen asleep. Rose had wrapped blanket over him so he was sandwiched between the sheets. He looked so cute just laying there, his hair a mess, his face peaceful and serene like a child. She poured herself some water at the sink in the corner of the room and drank, watching a dolphin peering at her from outside.

'Whatcha looking at?' Rose asked it, raising an eyebrow and looking back at the Doctor before back to it. 'You dolphins do it for kicks, too, right?'

The dolphin did a twirl in the water. Rose could hear its cackling call and she smiled. She loved the noise they made. She finished her glass of water and pulled out a few paper towels, wiping down the inside of her legs before kneeling on the floor and cleaning the drops that had fallen there, too. The goldfish she had seen before flitted around her feet as she moved toward the bed and laid down in it. With a knock on the door, Rose answered and a few mosquitoes entered the room, bringing a tray of food and her partly burned clothes.

'Thanks, guys.'

The mosquitoes buzzed a reply and departed. Rose knew she had to leave soon. She sat down at the table and munched at her lunch; a steak sandwich. It was delicious. Melted cheese and a beef patty warmed her insides like a gentle flame, and beetroot juice dripped down her arms. She licked it off and stared at the Doctor's sleeping form, unease suddenly washing over her.

When she finished she got dressed and sat, waiting for the Doctor to wake. Then, his eyes opened and he yawned.

'What time is it? How long was I out?'

Rose laughed at the Doctor's head poking up from the sheets.

'I don't know, but your hours are definitely up, that's for sure.'

He groaned and held his head, rolling over and staring at the ceiling, breathing deeply for a few moments. He pushed himself up to a sitting position and reached and pulled his clothes toward him, slipping his pants on and then his shirt. Rose watched, an empty feeling filling her like air. When the Doctor was dressed, Rose offered him a glass of water and he drank it all in one go.

The Doctor's eyes were filled with gratitude as she filled it up and gave him the glass again. Rose sat on the bed next to him, staring at the sheets as he drank, drank, drank.

'You're a bit quiet,' the Doctor observed, finishing the glass and passing it to Rose so she could put it on the table. 'Was I no good?'

'No… No, you were fine.'

'I'll take that as a compliment seeing as I was heavily compromised from movement.'

Rose smiled faintly and then touched the Doctor's hand, entwining it with his. The Doctor leaned in to kiss her. Rose let him, though her response was minimal. They two stared at each other.

'Doctor, this isn't going to work, you know.'

The Doctor frowned.

'I was hoping we could forget about that for awhile.'

Rose shook her head. 'How can we? It's staring us in the face. We both know it's never going to work out, so why do we have to do this?'

'It's for pretend, Rose. Like when you were a little girl pretending to be a nurse or dentist. This is the same. The idea is to forget and be somebody else for awhile.'

Rose gave his hand a small squeeze and then retracted hers.

'But I don't want to forget.'

The Doctor furrowed his eyebrows. 'It's only temporary! It's for fun! I don't know why you're being so uptight about this.'

'Me? What about _you_?'

'What do you mean?' the Doctor demanded. 'You think I'm uptight? I've been uptight my entire life - but that's what it's like being a Time Lord. No sex, little relaxation, no time for relationships at all, it's just all action and learning…' the Doctor shook his head and scoffed. Then, he sighed heavily and looked at her apologetically, smiling slightly and touching her cheek. 'You know, Rose, it's hard to find time for a good holiday…' he suddenly put on a funny voice, '_but you're my number one destination, baby_.'

Rose snorted.

'No, but seriously, Doctor… it … _it can't work!_'

'It's already working, what are you talking about?' the Doctor asked, suddenly pulling her toward him by the waist and tickling her. Rose cackled with laughter and squirmed, trying to escape, when the Doctor finally pulled her into a hug. He collapsed against the pillows and held her close, bringing her down with him. Whenever Rose opened her mouth the Doctor would prod her in the belly until she went quiet, her remarks and protests turning to giggles and laughter before finally reaching pleasing silence. They lay together on the bed, resting happily and dreamily, soaking up their time together. But once the sound of whale calls and dolphin cries reached their ears, encouraging them into a meditative slumber, they fell asleep, their arms wrapped around each other like drunk teenagers.

* * *

_A/N: Katy Perry's Teenage Dream suddenly popped into my head. :) And the story is almost over. Just in time for November!_


	17. Goodbyes

Rose and the Doctor left the hospital room, hand in hand, speaking as they went and watching sting rays pass the walls around them.

'Oh, by the way, Rose, did you happen to use human contraception?'

'Hmm… No.'

The Doctor stopped walking, his mouth dropping open.

'You're joking right?'

Rose shook her head.

'No, I'm not. But I don't think I needed to. The mosquitoes told me that my ovaries were totally busted from being burned and once they had renewed the cells there, they told me I wasn't likely to get pregnant until I ovulated next since any trace of anything that could be fertilized was eradicated from there. They had to reset my entire cycle, really… they had no choice.'

'Oh, okay, that makes sense.'

'It's not a method I plan on using again, though,' Rose admitted. 'Although it was very effective as a contraceptive, I just think the side effects outweigh the benefits.'

The Doctor knew she was being sarcastic so he laughed appropriately. As they reached the Tardis, the Doctor opened the door with his sonic screwdriver and they walked inside.

The two humans then made a double take.

'Gosh, what ever happened to it being bigger on the inside?' Rose asked.

Inside the Tardis was only a computer and a keyboard propped up on a desk in a telephone booth. There was no fancy soundproofing, at all, just a phone booth without the phone. Was this all the Tardis was in the very beginning? Something so primitive and simple?

_To answer your question, yes, I was._

The Tardis spoke in his mind with its mechanical rumble. The Doctor listened and pressed Enter on the keyboard. A command prompt appeared.

_So what can you do now?_ The Doctor asked it, looking at the blinking cursor. It replied swiftly.

_I can answer your questions and turn you back into a Gallifreyan, and that is all until you change back._

The Doctor frowned, and then looked to Rose, taking her hands in his.

'Rose, you don't mind if I turn back in a Gallifreyan early, do you?'

'What?'

'Do you?'

'Well… I guess not. Why?'

'Well, unless you want to spend more time here, which I don't, then I have to change back or the Tardis can't do anything.'

Rose looked at the tiny desk and computer and nodded.

'Yeah, let's get out of here.'

The Doctor stared into her eyes. They were filled with tiredness and sadness, but a determination.

'What did you mean when you said you didn't want to forget, Rose?' the Doctor asked her.

Rose pulled him into her arms and then held his arms, looking into his face. 'Well, I meant… Well... Thing is that I fell in love with you as a Time Lord, not a human being. I kind of… didn't forget about that – didn't want to. But of course, how could I forget? You may look human, but you're a Gallifreyan at heart. And I love that about you. So love, sex... even though they're kind of nice things to have, they're not necessary for me to feel affectionate toward you... and I prefer you as a Time Lord than a human being... there's just something missing when you're human... I can't quite put my finger on it but it feels like you're different somehow, like a part of you disappeared,' her eyes were filled with earnest. 'So I don't mind if you turn back so much, you know? I'll miss having you close, but there are more important things than that, you know what I mean?'

'I think I might,' the Doctor said, giving her a tight squeeze. 'God bless you, Rose Tyler.'

He mentally ordered the Tardis to turn him back and turn off his feelings for the human in front of him.

'One day, Rose, you'll meet someone who will be able to be everything to you. Everything to you as you are to me.'

As he released his mind and emotions and felt his body twitching and shuddering he held Rose to him. Rose held him tight as she heard the odd creaks, bubbling and screeching coming from inside his body, his chest. She was occasionally zapped by what felt like static electricity and his body vibrated. Just as she was getting a grip on her fear, the shaking stopped and the room around them exploded with light and sound. The light was warm and comforting like a gentle flame and Rose and the Doctor pulled away as the brightness slowly dimmed. The Tardis had completely reconstructed itself.

The Doctor flexed his body and stretched, feeling his Gallifreyan body anew. He felt well, and looked at the girl before him in friendly contemplation.

The two stared at each other. The Doctor's eyes were alight with his dreams and inner promises while Rose's eyes were filled with sadness, though her lips perked into a smile. The Doctor was a Time Lord again and didn't love Rose… and never could. Although it pained her to have things this way, she knew she wouldn't have it any other.

The Tardis buzzed and whirred, the light pump coming back to life and pushing its energy throughout the time machine, through every room and section. The Doctor approached the control panel and grinned broadly at the girl.

'Where do you want to go next? I've been thinking going to maybe Athropodia or Kallista-2C - they're both planets inhabited by insects. I think you'll find it interesting to see how insects have grown and evolved across the Universe. Or maybe you're sick of insects and would like to see… dogs? Cats? No, wait, we've seen cats already.'

'What about dolphins?' Rose asked suddenly, remembering the pretty creatures in the aquarium. 'Dolphins are cute. Is there anywhere where dolphins have evolved?'

'Yes, of course!' the Doctor exclaimed, and he skipped around the Tardis control panel pulling levers and pressing buttons. 'To Sea World we go!'

'W-wait!' Rose stammered. 'Sea World? Are you joking?'

'Nope!' the Doctor laughed, and he looked knowingly at the girl. 'The dolphins thought it would be ironic to call it that since they destroyed the one on Earth in the first place.'

'Sea World gets destroyed?' Rose's mouth fell open. 'Why? How? What did they do?'

'Well, you'll just have to wait and see, Rose Tyler... you're just going to have to wait and see. You know, dolphins are actually very intelligent creatures, some say even more so than human beings. Doesn't that sound exciting? More intelligent than human beings?'

'Sure does…' Rose muttered, suddenly watching the Doctor with a glint in her eye. 'Because I sure haven't seen that before.'

The Doctor didn't get the sarcasm that time but Rose was kind of glad he didn't. He pressed a few last buttons and there was a small ringing noise. Rose turned away as the Tardis gave a tremendous lurch. They were on their way to Sea World, the land of evolved dolphins... and it would be fun. She liked dolphins.

Rose sat down on the edge of the landing and held her hands to her belly, a forlorn sadness washing over her, followed by an odd feeling of hope. She back over at the Doctor who was staring at the light pump and then thought back to the hopeful feeling in amazement. She ran her hands over her tummy, as if looking for a kick or some sign of movement.

It was the strangest thing, but she had the impression she would one day hold the Doctor's child in there...

FIN

* * *

_A/N: The End. _

_And a final little thing..._

_Who remembers Doctor 10.5?_

_Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story. People may say "Noo! They're supposed to be together!" Well, I disagree. I don't think they are. Doctor Who is a story about a Time Lord; any romances are tragedies... nonetheless, for anyone who knows of the Doctor 10.5 in the series will know that Rose does indeed get a happy ending, although the Doctor does not. Ahh, the life of a Time Lord. ;) I like to keep my stories as close to the canon as possible, so they can somehow be perceived as being part of the story... anyway, I hoped it worked out that way even though I kind of made up my own little things. Any questions, you can PM me or write a review and I can reply and if there are any inconsistencies I can probably find some sort of explanation for it, haha! That being said I do enjoy constructive criticism. I also want to visit Sea World and I would love to go to a hospital that was part aquarium... that would just be so damn awesome, I think. Anyway, see you 'round and thanks for sticking with me 'till the end! :) Much appreciated._


End file.
